Saturday 9: Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Saturday 9: Baby, It's Cold Outside

1. How cold is it where you are?
   -- We’re sitting at 27 foggy degrees right now in NE Oregon.
2. This familiar song was introduced in a 1949 film called Neptune's Daughter. Name another movie song.
   -- The Tiger Song from The Hangover
   --
3. Who was the last person to call you "baby?"
   -- A very handsome Ginger bear.
4. This time of year is important to college football fans. Have you watched/will you watch any bowl games?
   -- I watched the Oregon State Beavers defeat the Boise State Broncos in the Hawaii Bowl.  
5. Are you sad to see the holiday decorations begin to slowly disappear? Or do you think they should all come down right away?
   -- I take mine down the day after Christmas.
6. Did you tell the truth about your weight on your driver's license, or did you shave off a pound or two?
   -- Our licenses in Oregon are good for 8 years. When I got my license, I was going through separation and divorce and was taking my frustrations out at the gym. My weight was accurate at THAT time. In the last 6 years, the weight came back… with friends. I am shedding the weight again and my weight will be LESS when I renew my license July 2015.
7. Crazy Sam (the author of this meme) swears that the Echinacea she takes every morning keeps her healthy. Her boyfriend tells her she's wasting her money. Do you take any herbal supplements?
   -- I take a melatonin nightly to help me sleep.
8. The average restaurant in the US tip is 18%. Are you a generous tipper?
   -- If the service is good, yes. If it’s ‘as expected’ I hover around the traditional 15%.
9. This is the last Saturday 9 of 2013. Do you know the lyrics to "Auld Lang Syne?”
   -- For the most part, yes.

TMI Thursday: Happy New Year 2014!

Sean at Just a Jeep Guy started it, now all the cool kids are doing it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014!

No resolutions! Just your best hopes and wishes for 2014!

• Entertainment
• Most who know me, know that I love movies. There are a number of films coming out in 2014 that I’m looking forward to seeing.
• February – Robocop
• March – 300: Rise of an Empire
• April – Captain America: Winter Soldier
• May – X-Men: Days of Future Past, Maleficent
• July – Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Jupiter Ascending (it has Channing Tatum)
• December – Annie
• Politically
• I’m sorry, I have no expectations of either party as 2014 is an election year. Which is saying something after the clusterfuck that was 2013.
• On the marriage equality front; between court cases and the ballot box equality will spread across the nation.
• Globally
• The Sochi Winter Games will become an international Pride Festival.
• Personally
• There will be a fuller post regarding my personal goals for 2014 next week. That being said, my annual goal remain the same from year-to-year… I will continue to seek out ways to improve myself professionally, physically and emotionally so that I am a better human at the end of 2014 than I was at the beginning.
• Friends
• My best friends live too far away… my goals for the year is to make time to spend time with them on a more frequent basis.
• Family
• I am constantly reminded that my time with my kids is short and I’m not the one who controls the narrative of how they regard me; that is totally under the control of my X. I hope to take the time to make the most of it as I have another child turning 18 in 2014. I’ve got a plan on in the hopper for Spring Break. I’m hoping that the pieces fall into place. We haven’t been to the coast in two years.
• Your Suggestion
• meh… I’ve got nothing. Sorry Sean.

Bonus

• Sexually
• It is my hope that I will continue to improve myself and become the person that I would want to be with… hopefully, someone else would feel that way too… it would be awesome if that person were Ian Parks from Where the Bears Are.

TMI Thursday: Call Me

Sean at Just a Jeep Guy started it, now all the cool kids are doing it.

CALL ME

• Do you still have a land line?
• I hadn’t had a land line since 2002 until I called to renegotiate my cable/internet package during the Fall of 2012. They offered to give ma landline for a “Great Deal”. I tried to resist, but they wouldn’t budge. I took the land line for one year. In that year, all I got from it was telemarketers and bill collectors to previous holders of that number. When I called this past fall to renegotiate my “deal” with the cable/internet provider I got an even better deal without the land line.
• Which cell phone do you use and why?
• I have a Droid Razr HD because it’s SUPER cool. I like the battery life and I’ve always had good luck with Motorola products.
• Which provider do you use? Is there really a difference?
• I use Verizon. Living in a rural area, it serves me well with few dropped calls. The only provider I’ve had a bad experience is Sprint, but that was 10+ years ago, so I don’t know if they still suck. But they do have great ads.
• If you call someone and they don't pick up, do you leave a message?
• Nope
• When you have a missed call (with no message), do you call the person back?
• Nope
• Do you txt willingly or reluctantly? How are your skills?
• Willingly? It depends on the person. I do my best to respond quickly. Sometimes when I’m at work that can be a challenge.
• Has your cell replaced your camera?
• It has. I ran across my Canon Sure Shot the other day. The battery didn’t have a charge so I put it back where I found it. I’ll run across it again someday.
• Selfies....
• I’m taking them regularly to document the change in the size of my body. I took some shirtless shots that I will unveil when there is an “after” shot to go with them. This is me last Sunday, 64 lbs. lost.
• How many apps do you have? Which is your favorite and why?
• I’ve honestly never counted them… there are quite a few. The ones I use most frequently are on one of 5 screens, while the less frequently used aps (like the Portland Tri-Met app) are in the background folder.
• My favorites are Foursquare, OregonLive, Facebook, a wordfind game and Growlr.
• What would life be like with no cell/smart phone for one month?
• Very lonely. It is my primary… hell, it’s my only connection to long distant friends.

BONUS

• How much has your cell phone become a part of your sex life?
• As I do not have a current relationship, it is my connection to the occasional tryst.
• Sexting
• There are a couple guys who participate is a little explicit texting… it has been known to make the workday move along.
• hookup apps
• Growlr is my friend
• selfies
• Usually part of sexting
• video
• There are a couple videos known to exist.
• GPS
• Growlr uses GPS
• more?
• What more could you want?

TMI Thursday: The War on Christmas

Sean at Just a Jeep Guy started it, now all the cool kids are doing it

THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS 2013

• Which religion or faith do you belong to, if any?
• I am a recovering evangelical. I believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ to love your neighbor and ‘do unto the least of these’. My charitable giving and volunteer work reflects that. A wholly foreign concept to the clubhouse christiansists. The religiosity of some forced on others this time of year without action or deed backing it up makes me cranky.
• What is your opinion of Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays?
• I get an allergic reaction to issues that cause some to get their panties in a twist. I use both, whatever feels right in the moment.
• Holiday music on the radio? When and how much?
• On the radio? No… I cannot control the banality of the “holiday” tunes they air. I get a facial tic if I hear ‘Santa Baby’ or ‘Christmas Shoes’. Therefore, I have built a Holiday music playlist in iTunes that has a beautiful selection of Bing, Perry, Elvis, Michael Buble, and others.
• When do you start decorating? Do you?
• I have done zero decorating at home this year. I learned last year that siting alone amongst holiday finery is rather depressing. Putting up a tree and lights alone, staring at them alone and taking all down alone is highly depressing. I will have two of my children for Christmas this year, but I’ll be house sitting for some people that have their home decorated, so you can say I’m borrowing Christmas this year.
• White lights or multi colored?
• White lights are for fancy people and for those Festival of Trees events with the color coordinated ornaments that follow a theme. I generally describe my tree as eclectic with sports related ornaments, child made artwork, souvenirs of places I’ve traveled and miscellany. 
• Gift cards, cash or actually shopped-for presents?
• I like shopping for things that I think my friends and family will enjoy.
• Christmas cards and or family update letters are... 
• I enjoy getting them. In the era of Facebook, we mostly know about the lives of our friends and family. But it’s nice to know that I’m on their minds during the holiday season.
• Snow is...
• Pretty… for a short time. Then it’s just cold and treacherous. I’m already looking forward to April.
• Have you been a good little boy this year?
• Yes, just not for the right person apparently.
• RAPID FIRE FAVORITES:
• Food – The usual holiday fare… I like a ham for Christmas with scalloped potatoes. 
• Dessert -- Homemade Holiday Treats… Russian Tea Cakes, Fruit Cake, peanut butter balls, rum cake, and divinity.
• Drink – Hot buttered rum, peppermint mochas
• Holiday movie – Muppet Christmas Carol, Christmas Vacation, Scrooged, and A Christmas Story
• Holiday music – I love the classics, but there are some modern artists who fall into that genre.
• Holiday tradition – I try to maintain traditions since the divorce, but it’s been difficult; adding to seasonal depression. Frankly I’m always relieved when January 3rd rolls around and normalcy returns.

BONUS

• Christmas sex: What have you done under the mistletoe?
• When I was married, Christmas was always a stressful event, I don’t remember sex ever being on the agenda. In the four Christmases since, I’ve only been romantically involved once on Christmas day. It was very nice.
• Have you caught daddy kissing Santa Claus?
• Sadly, no.
• Have you done it a Santa suit?
• LOL… No
• Did you come down the chimney?
• Yes, we both did.
• Just how merry have you made Santa's helpers?
• I’ve heard no complaints.

TMI Thursday: Kiss the Cook

Sean at Just a Jeep Guy started it, now all the cool kids are doing it

KISS THE COOK!

• How good of a cook are you?
• I’m told I’m a pretty good cook. One of my favorite things is to cook for a group of people; family, friends, or a social gathering.
• Who taught you how to cook?
• Initially, my mom. Over the past 20+ years, my obsession with cooking shows have done well to expand my repertoire.
• Who does the cooking in your home?
• Generally, my houseboy Jake does the cooking. But, on his night off, I usually scare up a PB&J sandwich.
• Do you cook more or eat out more?
• I tend to cook more often… when Jake allows.
• Are you more of a cook or dessert maker?
• I have a couple “go to” desserts… cheesecake, for example; but generally I am more of an entrée and veg kind of guy.
• What was your worst/funniest cooking moment?
• I’ve burned my share of pizza, pancakes, etc. which go directly into the garbage. If I’ve ever served something truly loathsome I cant think of an example.
• What's your best dish?
• Lasagna with garlic bruschetta
• Is revenge a dish best served cold?
• In my efforts to find my bliss, I have chosen to leave those things to karma. She’s a meaner bitch than I could ever be.
• Is the best way to a man's heart truly through his stomach? 
• It may be. Every relationship has started with a meal… but there must be something more, because I’m single most of the time.

BONUS

• Have you made whoopee in the kitchen?
• Yes
• Which foods have you used to spice up your love life?
• I cannot recall a time where food was involved.

Post-Op Update: 4 weeks

Its been four weeks since surgery. My incisions are healed, but I still have some pain at the main incision site as, in the words of my surgeon, “We really worked that spot”. The twinges of pain are diminishing, but if I try to do more than I should, my body reminds me that it was cut open a month ago. The doctor says I should get that twinge for another two-three weeks.

I have moved through the pureed food stage, to the “soft” food stage. That means I can have well cooked veggies, tuna and something called stewed chicken, I am going to try to make it on my day off on Thursday and see how it turns out. My diet is made up primarily of gagsome protein shakes, greek yogurt, cottage cheese, and applesauce. Tonight I celebrated my newfound menu freedom by having 1/2 cup green beans and 3 oz. of whitefish. I have learned that if I take too big of a bite of anything and don’t chew it to the point of mush, my tiny tummy grumbles and gets cranky. So it took about 45 minutes to eat my dinner. Last week I tried to jump the date a little and had some scrambled eggs. So far that has been the only thing that refused to stay down. I told the doctor, she gave me a stern look and asked what I leaned. I told her that I learned that even eggs need to be chewed well. She said, “No, you should have learned to follow the instructions and not have eaten eggs before week four”. She encouraged me to try again this week.

I have found that I get huge cravings. I see ads for pizza and I can almost taste it. It’s the knowledge that if I were to try to eat something like that, I would spend a bit of time in the bathroom feeling like I was going to die.

As you can see in the sidebar, I’ve lost 48 lbs. thus far. It’s actually hit a plateau as I’m not really exercising. I walk some, but mostly I’m not doing a whole lot. Once my body stops twinging, I’ll hit the gym again and the weight should melt away.

Finally, the bills are starting to arrive. If you could spare a few $$ to help with my expenses, please click the GoFundMe widget in the sidebar. If you give $100, you get a HUG.

Breaking it down: Black Friday

According to THIS article Walmart has joined a list of other retailers to announce they are opening on Thanksgiving day.

Most of the news stories and pundits are clutching their pearls over this issue because someone in our society had the image that Thanksgiving still looks like this…

… when in fact, it looks more like this…

… but for many, myself included; Thanksgiving looks like this…

As a person who worked numerous holiday seasons in retail and as a person who takes “freedom of choice” seriously… so the stores want to open on Thanksgiving… so what?  Obviously there must be people who WANT to shop and I guarantee you there are people who WANT to work. It takes all kinds of people to work a society.

Enjoy your holiday in whatever way you want. If it really bothers you what OTHER people are doing… perhaps you need a better hobby?

I will be working my way through Season three of Star Trek: Enterprise with the phone nearby as I will be the on-call social worker for my county that week. I sincerely hope I don’t get a call to respond to Walmart where someone has abandoned their child in their fervor to get that 72” television.

TMI Thursday: Lost & Found

LOST AND FOUND?

• Do you tend to lose things only to find them later?
• I’m kind of maniacal about keeping track of my things, so much so that I rarely lose things of value to me for very long.
• Have you ever gone "shopping" in the Lost and Found?
• Once I spotted a quality pair of football cleats in the lost & found. I kept my eye on them for a couple weeks before claiming them as my own.
• Has a dog or other pet "followed" you home?
• The best dog ever, Buster essentially “followed me home”. The poor malnourished, dirty yellow lab showed up at my workplace one day. After checking around, he came home with me and lived the rest of his days with my family.
• How are you at finding a bargain?
• I enjoy hitting yard sales and thrift shops to find treasures. I also research every purchase to make sure I’m getting the most bang for my buck.
• How many times have you lost your wallet?
• Twice… it’s not fun.
• How do you find the time?
• I organize my time by setting priorities. I use my calendar to prioritize deadlines to make sure I get things done when they are supposed to be done.
• Have you found your soul mate? Do you think you ever will?
• No, I’ve been feeling pretty cynical about it the last couple months. My biggest fear is dying alone.
• Do you have a lost love?
• I wonder sometimes. I wonder if I’ve been too picky or had unreasonable expectations of things like honesty or respect from a past partner.
• When did you lose your innocence?
• Given the family I was spawned from… I don’t think I ever had it. I’m trying to make up for it by crusading for lost causes. !'ve been accused of writing “rainbows & unicorn case plans”.

BONUS

• When did you lose your virginity?
• I lost it progressively through my teens and early-20’s, finishing the project at the age of 23.
• How many times have you helped someone lose theirs?
• Unknown

It’s been… one week…

It’s been one week since I went under the knife… or laparoscope to be precise. It seems that drinking water, sleeping and trying to get nutrition has been my full-time job.

Frankly, I’ve been surprised at how well the recovery has been going. When I woke up in recovery Monday afternoon, it hurt to breathe deeply or move. I have five incision points on my abdomen (don’t worry, no pics) and I have learned just how much ANY movement involved abdominal muscles. As I sit here tonight, the largest incision is still causing a bit of discomfort. I’m glad to say that I haven’t had to take the narcotic pain meds since Thursday.

I have noticed the last two days that I’ve felt motivated to take on a project; yesterday I took down the Halloween decorations and today I drove to the store for some yogurt, both resulted in sleeping the afternoon away.

The biggest challenge has been getting in protein. Every brand of protein that I tried and enjoyed BEFORE surgery I stocked up on them so that I would have a variety to choose from in my efforts to get 100+ grams each day. I have learned that a number of the folks in the support group were RIGHT! Almost every one of those protein sources are NASTY now. Before surgery I could shotgun a bottle of protein shake, now I have to sip. That may have something to do with it. I've been trying to find other ways to get protein within my “allowable” menu. The best way is with Greek yogurt and I found that Lucerne has a 2% milk with 13 grams of protein in each cup.

Finally, the primary measure of the success… my weight. You can see the progress in the Fitness Pal widget in the sidebar. That number is based on my official starting weight last summer and includes my progress through tonight. One of the surprising lessons of surgery last week was that I actually gained weight in the hospital from IV fluids and swelling from the surgery.

Surgery Eve

24-hours from right now, I will be going through pre-op procedures at the hospital in Portland, OR. It has been quite a journey to get to this point. This is my second attempt at this, in 2010 I failed to meet the pre-clearance requirements. But letting three years of water flow under the bridge as I tried to make changes in my life to become more healthy and happy with my appearance motivated me to give it a try in 2013.

So here I am. I’m nervous about the idea of re-plumbing my digestive system. I’m anxious about the 0.1% chance that something could go wrong. But mostly I’m hungry… watching football on this fine Sunday doesn’t help, with the pizza ads making me think of this great pizza place in McMinnville, Mikey’s Pizzaria… pictured is 1/2 Blue Buffalo (onion rings) and 1/2 Lumberjack (jo-jo’s)… gastronomic perfection.

Mainly I’m thinking about whether this is going to be the tool for which I’ve been searching for 25 years. In the past I have successfully lost weight. one time up to150 lbs. (pictured). But without the restriction on emotional eating, it would all come back… with friends.

I must learn to eat small… eat healthy in order to accomplish and maintain health and sexiness.

Some say this is a cop out… if only you would push away from the table, if only you would move more… you will accomplish this goal. I feel like a failure in this area, just like I did when I failed to pray the gay away. If you would just have more faith… if you would just pray more… oh and my favorite… God doesn’t give us challenges we can’t handle.

NEWSFLASH… you cannot will yourself straight and some people cannot will themselves thin… at least not for very long. 

See you on the other side.

Saturday 9: If It Makes You Happy

Sheryl Crow is a breast cancer survivor and October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Please spread the word about early detection.

Saturday 9: If It Makes You Happy

1. What's something that always makes you happy?
   -- Seeing a client making positive steps to overcome addiction and move their life in a positive direction. .
2. In the lyrics, Sheryl refers to a poncho. How do you usually protect yourself from the rain? Poncho? Umbrella? Raincoat? Hat?
   -- I’m an Oregonian, it has to be raining pretty hard to require anything more than a hoodie.
3. Early in her career, Sheryl made ends meet by singing commercial jingles, including one for McDonald's. When was the last time you visited The Golden Arches?
   -- A trip to Mickey D’s was one of my “last supper” choices last week before gastric bypass surgery. I have been eating healthily long enough that it made me sick. I guess aversion therapy has some merit.
4. Sheryl rode a horse into the ring of a Wyoming rodeo and then sang. Have you ever been to a rodeo?
   -- Yes, many times.
5. Sheryl lives outside of Nashville, which is known as Music City. What type of music do you listen to most often?
   -- I listen to most all types of music, but Classic Rock is the clear winner in the iTunes play count.
6. Crazy Sam (author of this meme) is a massive Sheryl Crow fan, and is sure that the only reason why she and Sheryl aren't best friends is that they haven't met. What famous person do you think could be your BFF?
   -- Neil Patrick Harris… I think we’d have lots of laughs and great conversations.
7. Sheryl and cyclist Lance Armstrong were once engaged. Had they tied the knot, she would have become stepmother to his three children. Are you a step-parent, stepsibling or stepchild?
   -- No
8. Sheryl has performed carols at the National Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony in Washington DC. Have you ever visited our nation's capital?
   -- No… but it’s on my Bucket List.
9. Do you consider yourself easy going or do you have a fiery temperament?
   -- Generally, I’m pretty easy going, but I can get a bit emotional. Not in a breaking things and yelling sort of way, but you will know that I’m displeased.

Can You Help a Brother Out?

I have spent much of the day on the phone with people from various aspects of the surgery in Portland on Monday. I had my “last supper” last nights and I am into a liquid only diet for the weekend. One of the aspects I dealt with today was the financial one. I figured it would work itself out, and it will, but I am still under court ordered poverty. That is what I call the hit my paycheck takes each month to keep my ex from descending into the hell she deserves.

I have worked out a payment plan with the doctors/surgeons/anesthesiologists and the hospital that has pleased them, but any relief you my humble reader can offer would be greatly appreciated. Please click the link in the sidebar.

TMI Thursday: Does Size Matter?

DOES SIZE MATTER?

• How big is your TV screen?
• 32”
• How big is your hard drive? Laptop or desktop?
• 300 gb – Laptop
• How big is your home? Is it too big or too small?
• 2 bdrm, 1 bath… 760 sq ft of luxury
• How big is your waistline? Is it too big or too small?
• WAAAAYYY too big… Gastric Bypass surgery on Monday. **Watch this space for progress to DAMN SEXY!
• How big are your pets?
• Cat sized
• How big is your car?
• Subaru Outback sized
• How big are your biceps?
• Not as big as they will be when I’m DAMN SEXY!
• How big is your ego?
• Not as big as it will be when I’m DAMN SEXY!
• Who's currently the biggest ass?
• Boehner, Cantor, Cruz, McConnell… and every congressman who voted NO to fund the government… you choose.
• Who's currently the biggest loser?
• Members of congress who are so tone-deaf to the issues that matter to real Americans.
• How big is your bank account?
• I’m a State employed social worker… I play the lottery for investment purposes.
  

BONUS

You knew it was coming…

• How big is your sexual organ and is it big enough?
• It does the job … I’ve had no complaints
• How do you like your partner to be sized?
• Big enough to rock my world.  
• Can it be too big/small?
• Too small? Absolutely! Too big? I haven’t found that one yet.
• Does size really matter?
• Absolutely

T-Minus… One Week

One week from tonight, if everything goes according to schedule I will be in recovery from Gastric Bypass surgery.

In preparation for the big day, I was instructed to stop taking vitamins today and I need to stop the intake of caffeine sometime this week. I began tapering off today. I only had one 16 oz. mug of coffee with pumpkin spice creamer this morning. I expected a low grade dull headache… and I wasn’t disappointed. It is my plan to drink just one mug of coffee, instead of approximately 36 oz. per day by Friday. I’m told it will be months before I can have caffeine again (if ever). Some of the folks on the online support group said they started working coffee back in at about 2 months. In case you’re wondering why I have to stop caffeine, it dehydrates. Plus, my post-op stomach will hold approximately 2 oz. and filling it with coffee will make the race to avoid dehydration a bigger challenge.

Also on the calendar this week, going liquid. Beginning Friday morning, my diet must be totally liquid… water, protein drinks, Jell-O, milk and broth. The last time I will eat solid food with reckless abandon will be Thursday night.

I am anxious about having major, life altering surgery in six days. But I’m more anxious about being able to make it work. Oh… and NOT dying. That would be good.

Sunday Stealing: Random Randomness Pt. III

Previously on Rejected Reality … Part I … Part II

1. What room are you in?
   -- Living Room
2. Can you solve a Rubik’s cube?
   -- …with a hammer! .
3. Are you psychic in any way?
   -- Psychics are just good at reading human behavior… yes.
4. What star sign are you?
   -- Cancer
5. What's your favorite color?
   -- Blue
6. What's your lucky number?
   -- 42
7. Do you have any chores that should be done now?
   -- Not that I’m aware of, I’m waiting for Youngest to wake up so I can make breakfast. Sunday mornings are for pancakes.
8. Did you have a cherished childhood teddy bear or other toy?
   -- I had a Mr. Peanut doll (like the one pictured)
9. What was the last thing you bought from a vending machine?
   -- a bottle of Dasani.
10. What shoe size are you?
    -- 12.5
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
    -- 5
12. If you were prime minister/ruler of the world what laws would you make?
    --
13. If you were a super hero what powers would you have?
    -- The power to rectify wrongs for those who are powerless against the powerful.
14. and what would your hero name be?
    -- Mysterious Ways
15. and what outfit would you wear?
    -- I would be like The Lone Ranger. Wrongs would be righted; the recipients would be left wondering how it happened. Someone would say “something's just work out in mysterious ways”.
16. What was your last dream about?
    -- I generally don’t remember my dreams.
17. What would you do if you won the lottery?
    -- Start a foundation to fund social justice organizations, travel, do the work I want to do but can’t because of financial obligations to my children.
18. Would you like to build/design your own house?
    -- My dream home already exists.
19. Which form of public transport do you prefer?
    -- Light Rail
20. Can you juggle?
    -- Um… No

 

Saturday 9: Come to my Window

Melissa Etheridge is a breast cancer survivor and October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Please spread the word about early detection.

1. This song is about a woman passionate about love and willing to pursue it, no matter what "they say." Are you fearless when it comes to public opinion? Or do you worry about what "they" think of you?
   -- Sadly, what other people say/think matters a lot to me. I’m trying to overcome that failing, but I believe I’m required to be honest in these things… it’s in the constitution… just ask Ted Cruz. He has met people who have actually read it… and that counts.
2. Melissa's father was a high school teacher. Tell us about a teacher who had an impact on you.
   -- A number of teachers had an impact on my life in various ways, but the teacher whom I credit for turning my life around and setting me on an unquenchable quest for knowledge is Mrs. Livingston. She showed me how to love literature, how to look at the world around me and ask “why?”, and how to think critically of the information offered.
3. Melissa won a Grammy for this song. If you won a major award, where would you display it?
   -- I’d put it on top of my file cabinet at work for people to see.
4. Which TV game show do you think you'd do better on -- The Price Is Right or Wheel of Fortune?
   -- Choosing between those two… Wheel of Fortune. Although, I would MUCH rather meet Drew Carey. I’m just bad at guessing the value of name brand products because I almost ALWAYS buy the store brand.
5. Are you neat and organized?
   -- VERY… don’t judge!
6. When was the last time you went more than a day without washing your hair?
   -- If I’m not planning on going out, I’ll skip a shower. But if I have to run to the store, I’ll jump in the shower. I REFUSE to be one of those peopleofwalmart people.
7. When you eat Chinese food, do you use chopsticks or a fork?
   -- Chopsticks
8. Are you a good cook?
   -- so the critics have said.
9. We're having a party in your honor! Would you prefer a costume party, a bowling party or a pool party?
   -- Bowling… its one of those things that is really fun, but you don’t do often enough so when your group does it, someone says “why don’t we do this more often?”.

TMI Thursday: Randomness

Sean at Just a Jeep Guy started it, now all the cool kids are doing it

RANDOMNESS

• Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
• I could… but the opportunity seems to pop up from time to time. But I’m more likely to smoke a cigar.
• Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused?
• Single/disillusioned
• What if I told you that you were handsome/pretty?
• I would say thank-you, but believe that you are only being nice.
• Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?
• Yes, it’s a bullshit line.
• Are you interested in anyone right now?
• Nope
• What are you looking forward to in the next week?
• Counting down the days until I have life-changing surgery. Making sure I can tie up as many loose ends at work as possible.
• Do you want to be single/married/in a relationship?
• I would love to be in a relationship that leads to marriage. But I’m tired of trying. Currently, I am not actively looking; I deleted all dating profiles and apps (like growlr) from my phone. The only one still active is the Plenty of Fish account… just keeping one line in the water.
• Have you pretended to like someone?
• I’m told I wear my feelings on my face. If I don’t like a situation, you will know… unless you’re clueless.
• Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?
• Yes
  

BONUS

• Are you better at giving oral sex or receiving oral sex??
• I’m told I’m pretty good at giving. My #1 goal is to give pleasure to my partner. If he is left uttering a breathless “wow” …I’ve done my job.

Sunday Stealing: Random Randomness, Pt. II

Part 1 can be found HERE.

1. What was your first alcoholic drink? – Stolen sips of my dad’s beer
2. What was your first job? – Washing dishes at a buffet-style restaurant.
3. What was your first car? – 1964 AMC Rambler Classic. I’d love to find one to restore someday. That was a SOLID car.
4. What was your first mobile phone? – a basic cell phone with Sprint in 1999.
5. What is your first proper memory? – Going to daycare when my family lived in Salem, OR. Based on my memories of the house we lived in then, I was younger than four.
6. Who was your first teacher? – My kindergarten teacher in Salem was Mrs. Stratton.
7. Which fictional character do you wish was real? – Ironman
8. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? – My wife (at the time) and I flew from Seattle to Boise to go to her grandmother’s funeral.
9. Who was your first best friend? – a boy named Kevin who lived “next door” when I was a kid. In Eastern Oregon, “next door” means, across a field.
10. What was your first detention for? – I don’t remember.
11. What's your strongest sense? – my Bullshit detector.
12. Who was your first kiss? – My ex-wife
13. What was the first film you remember seeing at the cinema? – Star Wars, Ep. IV
14. What's the largest amount of money you've ever won? – $1200 from an exceptionally lucky night on the slots at the local casino.
15. What's the largest amount of money you've spent in one spree? – $500, I was able to get my kids things they actually wanted for Christmas one year… because of that lucky night at the casino.
16. If you had a warning label, what would yours say? – WARNING: Doesn’t tolerate dishonesty or ignorance well.
17. Have you ever got sweet revenge on anyone? – Living well is the best revenge. I personally am counting on KARMA to take care of things.
18. Have you ever been to a live concert? – Yes, both big stadium rock spectaculars and small intimate venues. Honestly, I prefer a local band or artists in a coffeeshop.
19. Have you ever been to see stand up comedy? – Same as the previous answer… I’ve seen Bill Cosby, Louis CK and Jeff Dunham…. but small time comedians who do the circuit of clubs in Indian Casinos and other small time clubs can be just as hilarious. I really want to see Ron White and Larry The Cable Guy someday.
20. Have you ever needed stitches? – Yes… I was in a car accident in 2005 where I needed to have my right ear re-attached. (I've got pictures if you want to see them). And, as mentioned elsewhere in this blog… I am having surgery on 10/28.

Saturday 9: Hopelessly Devoted to You

Olivia Newton-John is a breast cancer survivor and October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Please spread the word about early detection.

1. This is a sad song about unrequited love. What's your favorite love song, and is it happy or sad?
   -- The song that springs to mind is Taylor Swift’s, You Belong With Me. I’m sure if I had someone special in my life, it would be a happy song, but alas it is not.
2. This song is from the Grease soundtrack. When that movie came out in 1978, the price of a postage stamp was just 15¢. When's the last time you visited the post office?
   -- I had to go to the post office just last week. I have one bill that doesn’t have an option to pay electronically. So I write one of my two paper checks each month and mail this payment. So I had to swing by the post office to buy some stamps. The design I chose is at right.
3. Not many people know that Olivia's maternal grandfather, Max Born, won the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1954. Share something about yourself that we might not have known before this morning.
   -- I was once investigated by the Secret Service.
4. Olivia's father was an officer in MI5, the UK's secret service. Sam's most recent run-in with the authorities had less intrigue or glamor, as it included a policeman pointing out the stop sign she'd somehow missed. Tell us about your most recent encounter with law enforcement.
   -- I frequently work with law enforcement as part of my job. The last time I had “unwanted” law enforcement attention was in November 2009 when the officer also kindly pointed out that I had missed a stop sign.
5. Olivia is part owner of an exclusive, luxury retreat called Gaia. If you had a day of free access to a heated pool, golf course, tennis court, gym, and day spa, but could only use one, which one would you choose?
   -- The Day Spa
6. Are you flirtatious?
   -- If I am, I’m not very good at it.
7. Do you more often wear silver, gold, or platinum?
   -- None of the above. The only jewelry I wear occasionally is a titanium ring.
8. When you're on the phone, do you usually make the first move toward ending the call? Or do you find it hard to say goodbye?
   -- I usually make the first move to disconnect. “Allrighty then, I need to go”. If that doesn’t work then, “Ok I need to go use the bathroom”. That usually works.
9. Would you rather be smarter, richer, or more attractive than you are right now?
   -- Smarter… the other ones would fall into place after that.