Sunday, October 27, 2013

Surgery Eve

Strength is the product of struggle

24-hours from right now, I will be going through pre-op procedures at the hospital in Portland, OR. It has been quite a journey to get to this point. This is my second attempt at this, in 2010 I failed to meet the pre-clearance requirements. But letting three years of water flow under the bridge as I tried to make changes in my life to become more healthy and happy with my appearance motivated me to give it a try in 2013. 912736_10151668971633833_1106297435_n

So here I am. I’m nervous about the idea of re-plumbing my digestive system. I’m anxious about the 0.1% chance that something could go wrong. But mostly I’m hungry… watching football on this fine Sunday doesn’t help, with the pizza ads making me think of this great pizza place in McMinnville, Mikey’s Pizzaria… pictured is 1/2 Blue Buffalo (onion rings) and 1/2 Lumberjack (jo-jo’s)… gastronomic perfection.

Mainly I’m thinking about whether this is going to be the tool for which I’ve been searching for 25 years. In the past I have successfully lost weight.250 one time up to150 lbs. (pictured). But without the restriction on emotional eating, it would all come back… with friends.

I must learn to eat small… eat healthy in order to accomplish and maintain health and sexiness.

Some say this is a cop out… if only you would push away from the table, if only you would move more… you will accomplish this goal. I feel like a failure in this area, just like I did when I failed to pray the gay away. If you would just have more faith… if you would just pray more… oh and my favorite… God doesn’t give us challenges we can’t handle.

NEWSFLASH… you cannot will yourself straight and some people cannot will themselves thin… at least not for very long. 

See you on the other side.

1 comment:

  1. A very good friend of mine underwent the procedure and looks amazing. It was the right choice for her and I know it is the right choice for you. Instead of watching football and the ads (although the players are so yummy to view), get out and enjoy the day. Go for a walk, visit a friend, go window shopping for new clothes, etc.

    You're gonna make it through this John. Remember, this is just the first step on a long journey. The important thing is that you are taking those steps.