Saturday 9: I can’t wait

1. Are you impatient?
   * I can be… it depends upon how many stupid people are in line ahead of me. My favorite thing (sarcasm) are those who are having their first experience with the Subway concept or a debit card. ..but I’m getting better.
2. Do you believe some people have a gift for predicting the future?
   * I believe people have the ability to observe human behavior and predict how they will respond to a particular set of circumstances.
3. The microwave is a great invention for those who "don't want to wait." What was the last thing you prepared in yours?
   * I warmed a cup of coffee this morning.
4. This was the theme of the TV show Dawson's Creek. Michelle Williams, a costar on the show, went on to earn multiple Oscar nominations. Name another performer who started out on TV and then became a movie star.
   * Tom Hanks
5. What's the last bit of advice you received?
   *
6. What's the last advice you gave?
   * Live… and love… now… no day, but today!
7. Easter is considered the season of rebirth. What leaves you feeling refreshed or rejuvenated?
   * A good hot shower after working out.
8. Easter is also recognized as the start of the spring season. What are you looking forward to this spring?
   * I love the return of warm temperatures. No more having to “prepare” to go outside, no more waiting for the car to warm up… and driving around with the sunroof open!
9. Which would you rather find in your Easter basket: yellow marshmallow chicks (aka Peeps) or a chocolate bunny?
   * I just hope the little varmint leaves me a nice FULL basket.

100th Post

If you look back to my old blog, you will see that I used to post my thoughts on a great number of topics. My life changed significantly from the first to the last post there. This blog has existed since July 5, 2010. But it has never really become what the old blog was.... I blame Facebook. It is so much easier to express my opinions rapidly, without much thought or analysis.

It has been nearly five years since I've been 'out', in that five years the most significant relationships have been tumultuous and painful. The one significant same-sex relationship I've had was riddled with lies and theft. He was living with another man while playing me, even proposing to me at one point. He used my ignorance and naivete to grift me. When I finally pulled the plug, I set out on a path to learn from the mistakes I made. One of the biggest lessons involved declaring bankruptcy. I will not compromise on my passions or disregard the fluttering red flags. This has meant ending relationships that had promise, but would have required compromising on core beliefs. I've met someone who actually compliments my passions, that doesn't ask me to compromise on them and loves me for who I am. I am optimistic about this gentleman and our future.

The other relationship that refuses to fade into the past is the one with my ex-wife. She cannot seem to let go of the pain and resentment that I brought into her life. I believe that the act of coming out was more than her fundamentalist christianist heart could stand. So her mission appears to be sucking as much joy out of my life as possible. Just when I think that things have moderated, a sucker punch comes out of left field. Recently I was served with papers declaring that she is "entitled" to more child support money. Even though our eldest children (the twins) will be 18 this summer. In Oregon, the custodial parent only has to call Child Support Enforcement and ask for more money. If I want to change the terms, I have to get a lawyer and pay court fees.

As it stands right now, I'm not left with much to live on once my basic bills are paid. I do nothing extravagant. I pay for a few things that some would consider a luxury (cell phone and cable service). If her demands go into effect, I will be left with less than $100 for food, gas and incidentals. I'm not asking for a change in the custodial agreement, all I'm asking is for the Judge to have mercy and allow me some money to live on each month. I meet with my lawyer on Monday to go over the documents.

Generally, I stick to meme's on this corner of the interwebs because I don't want to let the drama of my life spill out. By following a pre-selected questions with a humorous/sarcastic theme, the pain is released a bit without too much bile.

Thanks for your time...

TMI Thursday: Oooh Scary!

THAT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!

1. Do you scare easily?
   * I’m pretty aware of my surroundings, and can be a bit “jumpy” when I’m concentrating very hard or exhausted; it comes from being raised in an abusive home (thanks dad). That being said, I’m wary of strange noises. As I live alone, I do not watch movies that put ideas in my head of a homicidal maniac coming up the stairs.
2. Do believe in ghosts, spirits, etc?
   * No
3. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen?
   * I was unable to finish watching The Ring and Stephen King’s It creeped me out so bad that I cannot focus on this post for too long due to the snarling clown above.
4. Are you scared of things lurking under the bed?
   * I have “under-bed totes” with blankets and such in them. No room for monsters.
5. Do you look in the backseat before you get into your car?
   * No, but I will for a while now that you mention it.
6. What's the scariest actual/real event you've experienced?
   * I was in a single-vehicle rollover accident in 2005. I still have occasional flashbacks of the sight of the landscape rotating outside my windshield, the glass shattering then not being aware of anything until it all had stopped and someone was shouting at me from outside. I was broken, bleeding, in pain, I couldn’t feel or move my left arm and I was pinned inside my truck which was laying on its top. I am amazed I survived that scene.
7. Do you have nightmares?
   * Very rarely… my life is a bit too real on its own.
8. Do you have any phobia's such as heights, bugs, dogs or cats, flying, etc?
   * Phobias are an unreasonable fear, my fears are very reasonable… clowns are pure evil… there is always a chance that Pennywise is out there.

BONUS

What was your scariest sexual experience?
* I met up with a guy I had met online, he was handsome and was acting a little cagey, but that is typical in most hook-ups (right?). I began blowing him, he had a decent cock that grew to a very nice size and thickness, after a bit he suggested we go back to the bedroom and get comfortable. More kissing and sucking and he asks if I want anything to drink. I told him no, lets just keep going. He went back to being cagey and saying things about how people shouldn’t reject his hospitality. I tried to reassure him with the fact that I didn’t have much time, and we should go back to where we were going. He kept muttering about being a good host and people shouldn’t reject hospitality. I started to collect my things and put my pants back on when he shouted through clenched teeth that I’m not going anywhere after I’ve insulted him. I quickly put my clothes on and back to the door. He started moving toward me but I strangely moved quicker and got out the door… he stood on the porch… naked and shouting, “I’d really like to see you again”.

I’ve seen him around since then and I recognize his cock on his craigslist ads. I’ve wondered if anyone else has dared to reject his hospitability?

 

TMI Questions
Fun, slightly embarrassing questions designed to reveal Too Much Information between you and your significant other and among you and your friends and/or family.

Saturday 9: In the Wee Small Hours

1. Crazy Sam's (the author of this meme) mom and dad still talk about how exciting it was to see Sinatra in Vegas! What music did/do your parents enjoy?
   * I’ve written before about how I believed that radios only played country music. My eyes were opened when I was in Grade 5; that is when we were allowed to bring records to school to listen to at lunch. I discovered there were bands like KISS, Queen and The Knack… m-m-m-my Sharona! My best friend let me borrow his KISS album. I learned, rather quickly that this was The Devils’ Music… I love it to this day!
2. We all know Sinatra sang, and he won an Oscar for his acting. But he also painted and was proud to sell a few canvasses anonymously (signed "Artanis"). Do you have a secret talent?
   * I will save my best “secret” talent for my partners (wink). ahem… I knit.
3. Those close to Sinatra maintained that every time he sang,"In the Wee Small Hours" (video above) he conjured up how it felt to lose his great love. Have you ever had your heart broken?
   * Numerous times… but it’s best to move on and not wallow in it.
4. In 1966, when he was 50, Sinatra married 21 year old Mia Farrow. Their union lasted less than two years. Do you think a wide age gap necessarily dooms a romantic relationship?
   * If it works for them… who are we to decide? Seriously, why do some people get so bunched up over what OTHER people are doing?
5. Offstage Sinatra wore orange sweaters and liked seeing orange throw pillows in his home and dressing room because he believed "orange is the happiest color." What color raises your spirits?
   * Orange is definitely a most awesome color.
6. Frank and his loyal buddies were famously known as "The Rat Pack." How many people do you consider close friends?
   * Four
7. Sinatra's children followed their father into show business. What advice would you give a young person entering your career of choice?
   * Find your passions and figure out a way to get paid for it. As a social worker, I cannot imagine someone doing this without a passion for helping those who can do nothing in return.
8. Legend has it that Frank was embarrassed by a scar on his face (received at birth from the forceps used in his delivery) and worked hard to cover it. Do you have a physical characteristic that you try to hide?
   * The list is lengthy.
9. In 1964, when he first heard The Beatles, Sinatra was very dismissive. By 1970, he called the Beatles' "Something" one of the most beautiful ballads ever. Tell us about something you changed your mind about.
   * In an attempt to conceal my true self, I assumed the role of a church-going, married, republican. I am in a 12-step program now. I tell as many people as possible, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.

TMI (usually Thursday): The Weirdest Thing

Sean at Just a Jeep Guy started it, now all the cool kids are doing it (The ones I know about are listed in the sidebar).

TMI Questions… Fun, slightly embarrassing questions designed to reveal Too Much Information between you and your significant other and among you and your friends and/or family.

THE WEIRDEST THING

1. You've eaten... I guess that would be a matter of what you consider weird. I have eaten calf testicles, sushi, pickled pigs feet, chocolate covered grasshoppers, headcheese and durian cookies.
2. You've seen... every time I take a look at the People of Walmart I wonder what the hell they were thinking to go out like that? I know I certainly check myself before I head out to Wally World.
3. You've done... I went to extraordinary lengths trying to be straight… I surrounded myself with the church; its people and learned to recite the dogma, participated in two kinds of “restorative therapy” and I got married… had children… and guess what?
4. You've smelled... durian was pretty weird. I’ve heard Anthony Bourdain and Andrew Zimmern describe it on their shows, but I never appreciated the level of funk that southeast Asian delicacy exudes. To me it’s smell is a combination of a stinky cheese and gasoline.
5. You've heard of... celebrity “news”.
6. You've put in your mouth... let’s establish that a gay man putting a cock in his mouth isn’t that weird. That being said… the grasshoppers were pretty weird.

BONUS

• The weirdest thing you've done sexually... I’m considered pretty “vanilla” but I’m willing to experiment. Before I came out, the idea that I felt I had to have sexual relations in a men’s rooms seems pretty weird. Even now, living in a rural community; there are a great many guys who are married or scared to admit who they are that won’t meet up with someone once they find out that person is indeed “out”, they won’t them because there might be guilt by association. Pretty weird.

Sunday Stealing: Meme from Memphis, Pt. II

Once again this week we ripped off a blogger named Memphis Steve from the blog Steve's Nude Memphis Blog. He does not say where he got it from, but judging by his profile picture, we don not want to know! But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing! Click on Steve's name to see his real profile picture...

Go HERE to see Part I

 

1. Have any memories that you’d like to forget?
   * I don’t know… I’m working on forgetting them.
2. Is there someone you really like to hang out with and just talk about stuff?
   * Yes, the list is a varied group of friends who have stuck with me through it all.
3. Have you ever been called prince or princess?
   * When I’m being a bit too ‘queeny’, I’ve been called princess in a lets-deflate-John-a-bit way.
4. Do you think teenagers are weird?
   * Nope… I’m not so old that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be one.
5. How fast does your mood change?
   * I’m a Cancer… that’s one of our hallmarks.
6. How are you feeling?
   * A bit hungover… but otherwise fine.
7. Do you want someone to call you right now?
   * Yes… one (or both) of my bears.
8. What do you always take with you?
   * Keys, wallet, cell phone.
9. Is your bed comfortable?
   * It’s a yard sale special that had seen better days when I bought it four years ago. It’s not bad… but I would love to get a new one.
10. Would you say you’re an understanding person?
    * Again, I’m a Cancer… we are endlessly empathetic. It makes for a good social worker.
11. Are you generally a happy person?
    * I try to be
12. Who’s in your Facebook profile picture with you?
    * No one… just me at my Happy Place.
13. Were you single on Valentines Day?
    * Yes
14. What is the last movie you watched?
    * My Bears and I were talking movies and we discovered that RENT is a favorite of Kurtis, but Patrick had not seen it. We shamed him of course… but it filled me with a desire to watch it and get all verklepmt… my hearts desire is to find the love Collins & Angel shared.
    
    
    
15. Do you listen to songs when you’re done?
    * My life certainly has a soundtrack… I’ve always got music running.
16. How long does it take you to fall asleep at night?
    * 15 minutes… 30 tops.
17. Are you talkative?
    * When I’m comfortable with the people around me, yes.
18. What are your St. Patty's day plans?
    * Lounging through the morning. Hitting the gym in the early afternoon. Watching “The Quiet Man”.

Saturday 9: Hakuna Matata

1. Sam (the author of this meme) is crazy for The Lion King. Do you have a favorite Disney movie?
   * If not The Lion King… then Finding Nemo
   
   
   
2. The song tells us that Hakuna Matata "means no worries." Is something worrying you right now?
   * I’m trying to not do that… focus on today, you cannot change yesterday and tomorrow is not yet to be.
3. Who is the most optimistic person you know?
   * Darrell… He has helped me to live in the now.
4. Elton John wrote "Hakuna Matata" but didn't record it. Name a song Sir Elton is famous for singing.
   * I love Sir Elton…
   
   
   
5. Can you play the piano?
   * I used to be able to play “Doe a deer…”
6. Congratulations! You just won a guided African Safari Tour! 8 days in Zambia and Botswana for you and a friend. All expenses paid, and allowing you access to breathtaking, unforgettable sights. It takes at least 30 hours to get there, and before you go you'll need yellow fever and hepatitis vaccinations and medication to prevent malaria. Are you up for it?
   * Oh Hell YES!
7. There's been a mistake. You really won a 4-night Disney Bahamas Cruise for two. Are you relieved or disappointed that you'll be partying with a guy in a Simba suit on the Lido Deck instead of observing a real lion in the wild?
   * A bit… but as long as its not a Carnival Cruise.
8. Let's bring this back to real life -- do you have any vacation plans?
   * I have TONS of plans… and dreams… but sadly, I’m under Court Ordered Poverty (AKA – Child Support).
9. Describe your luggage. Is it durable and high quality? Or are you like Crazy Sam, who has been known to use an Old Navy shopping bag as her carry-on?
   * I have a lovely set of Walmart luggage. And I have been known to use an IKEA bag as carry-on.

TMI Thursday: Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Sean at Just a Jeep Guy started it, now all the cool kids are doing it (The ones I know about are listed in the sidebar).

TMI Questions

Fun, slightly embarrassing questions designed to reveal Too Much Information between you and your significant other and among you and your friends and/or family.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!

1. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
   * Absolutely…. frequently and repeatedly.
2. Do you wear green on the day?
   * Yes
3. Green beer is...
   * what they do to pissy bear to make it interesting. A TRUE Irish Stout stands alone… without adulteration.
4. Irish coffee is...
   * You add some Jameson’s to anything and you’ve got a winner.
5. Have you worn a kilt?
   * No, but I would.
6. Have you gone to the NY St. Patrick's Day Parade?
   * I hope to get to NYC one day before I die… at St. Patrick’s or any other day.
7. St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland with a stick. How would you handle snakes?
   * I do not handle snakes… I won’t bother them, if they don’t bother me.

BONUS

I'm 100% Irish. Would you kiss me?
* Absolutely!

Sunday Stealing: Meme from Memphis Pt. I

Today we ripped off a blogger named Memphis Steve from the blog Steve's Nude Memphis Blog. He does not say where he got it from, but judging by his profile picture, we don not want to know! But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing! Click on Steve's name to see his real profile picture...

1. Be honest, who texted you last?
   * A beautiful man with whom I have a great deal in common and I could easily fall for… if only he didn’t live three time zones away.
2. Do you sleep with the bedroom door open or closed?
   * Door is open… you never know when Prince Charming will show up.
3. Do you drink tea?
   * Iced Lipton or Earl Grey… hot.
4. Do you have plans for tomorrow?
   * Monday is back to work day… but I’m dreading Daylight Savings Lag.
5. What’s worse: dry skin or chapped lips?
   * Chapped Lips… puts a crimp in kissing and fellatio.
6. Would you be surprised if Facebook started charging?
   * It’s a free service that I voluntarily use… people who let that affect their well-being apparently don’t have any real problems.
7. Would you rather go to Canada or California on vacation?
   * I know cooler people in Canada.
8. How many social media sites are you registered with?
   * See the sidebar –>
9. Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants or pajama pants?
   * I’m not wearing pants. (do you know how hard it is to find a picture of a sexy bear without pants that isn’t porn? ..this will have to do)
10. So, what if you changed lives for one day with the last person you texted?
    * I’d rather that he was part of my life rather than long phone calls and text messages.
11. Last person you told a secret to?
    * I’ve learned not to tell my secrets… they’re either used against me or used as a reason to kick me to the curb.
12. What are you listening to at the moment?
    * Mumford & Sons
13. Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
    * On the couch
14. Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to?
    * Yes
15. Are you going to any concerts this year?
    * Not that I’m aware of… I’m a big fan of local music. Mainly because of the economics. I can go the The Great Pacific and see great music for the price of a pint or two.
16. Do you believe in Karma?
    * I’m counting on it.

Saturday 9: Midnight Train to Georgia

1. Have you ever been to the Atlanta?
   * No
2. Do you enjoy traveling by train?
   * The only train I’ve been on is MAX, the light rail system in Portland, OR… it is conveniently arranged to drop me off outside Casey’s and get me back to the hotel I normally stay at without being hassled by the PoPo (Portland Police… we shoot then ask questions).
3. "Midnight Train to Georgia" is Sam Winters' signature number at the karaoke bar. What's your go-to song when you take the mic?
   * I’m Too Sexy… or… Cover Girl.
   Seriously, it’s Piano Man.
4. Do you drink tea?
   * Tea… Earl Grey… Hot
5. What's the most recent thing you purchased for your home?
   * Food
6. Are there dishes in your kitchen sink right now?
   * There are always dishes in the sink when the kids are here. Otherwise, I know how to put them in the dishwasher.
7. Have you ever been fingerprinted?
   * I work for a state agency that requires a background check… yes.
8. What was the last check you wrote?
   * In this day of automatic bill pay, I write one check each month, and that is for my rent.
9. What color are your eyes?
   * A deep luxurious brown.

TMI Thursday: You Hairy Beast

Sean at Just a Jeep Guy started it, now all the cool kids are doing it (The ones I know about are listed in the sidebar).

TMI Questions

Fun, slightly embarrassing questions designed to reveal Too Much Information between you and your significant other and among you and your friends and/or family.

YOU HAIRY BEAST

1. Just how hairy are you? Do you desire more or less and where?
   * I call myself “moderately hairy” although, I wish I had more on my legs.
2. Your friend post's a pic of you when you were 25, what year is it and what does your hair look like?
   * It is 1994/95, and it looks like that –>
   (that is me with my eldest daughter… how about that mustache?)
3. What do you have to do and how long does it take you to make your hair look the way it does?
   * I keep it cut short now, so it really is very low-maintenance.
4. What was the most you ever paid for a haircut?
   * I’d have to say around $20
5. Do you manscape?
   * Yes, you gotta keep things neat if for no other reason than the optical illusion.
6. Men in beards are?
   * Depending on the man… Damn sexy!
7. What hair on a man affects your libido most?
   * A covering of hair over the body (as the guy above has).

Sunday Stealing: 5,000 question meme–Episode V

The 5000 question meme has been tormenting bloggers for years; no one has completed it… that anyone knows… 

The folks at Sunday Stealing have posted four previous installments of this meme, so I’m late to the game with Episode V. 101. What does happiness/joy feel like physically?
* To me, it feels like impending doom. Something that is short lived, because there is usually another shoe that has to drop.

102. List five things you love starting with the one you love the absolute most.

1. My kids
2. Sunny weekends
3. An unplanned afternoon off.
4. The feeling after a workout.
5. Snuggling under the covers.

103. How many movies have you gone to see this year?
* Thus far, I have only seen “Les Miserables” in 2013.

104. If you could have 3 wishes...but none of them could be for yourself, what would you wish for?
1. A Congress that actually had “We the People” at heart and not their pimps.
2. Marriage Equality
3. A cure for all types of cancer.

105. In what ways do you relax and de-stress when you are really tense?
* I drink until the feeling is numbed… a good cigar also helps.

106. How much money would it take to get you to sell your blog address?
* When I was trying to make a go at a blog that made money I had a couple domains. I sold one for $600.

107. Have you ever been hunting?
* Yes, once. I later realized that there is meat in convenient packages at Safeway that doesn’t require freezing my ass off and going without showering.  

108. Have you attempted this 5000 question meme in the past?
* No

109. What do you think of cloning?
* I don’t really think about it. But I understand there is some progress being made on making replacement parts to-order for people who have been in terrible accidents or are on a donor wait list.

110. Do you read or watch TV more often?
* Honestly, I watch too much TV.

111. With all this talk of terrorism going around are you willing to sacrifice rights and freedoms for increased safety?
* There’s always a line. Our freedoms are limited at the point they infringe on those of another individual. One guy tried to light his shoe on fire to trigger a bomb. Now I have to take my shoes off at the airport… small price to pay.

112. What is the punishment you would come up with for Osama Bin Laden if you caught him alive?
* Well, this is a bit out of date. He got what he had coming. If I caught him, I would turn him over to the closest law enforcement agency.

113. Have you ever named an individual part of your body?
* No

114. Have you ever been on the radio or on TV?
* Yes, I was a dj/talkshow host for various radio stations for about 12 years. I really do have the perfect face for radio, so no TV for me.

115. Have you ever won a lottery, or sweepstakes?
* No… and if I did… see answer 101.

116. Have you ever won a contest or competition?
* Not that I’m aware of, unless you count a successful job interview?

117. Have you ever watched The Joy of Painting show with Bob Ross?
* Yes, I love that show. From time to time, they air it on our local OPB station.

118. Do you know what your grandparents and your great grand parents did for a living?
* My maternal grandfather was a prison guard and my Grammy was a registered nurse. My paternal grandfather was a truck driver and my Grandma was a cook at the state hospital. I’m not sure about my great grandparents.

119. Is there anything really interesting in your family history?
* There is a family story that my great-grandmother Harrison was President Benjamin Harrison’s cousin. I’ve started doing an ancestry.com family tree until I realized all the good stuff is a paid service. I may get to that one day. 

120. Is there anyone you trust completely?
* No… I’ve learned that lesson painfully.

Saturday 9: Sunshine Day

1. The best known Brady Bunch song is, of course, the show's theme. Do you know the lyrics?
   * Yes
2. The Bradys were a blended family. Do you have stepparents, stepchildren or stepsibs?
   * No
3. Samantha admits that, when she was 12, she taped Greg Brady's photo over her bed. Before you judge her too harshly, come clean yourself. Did you have a major pre-teen crush? Who was it?
   * Ponch from CHiPs
4. Which TV character do you wish lived next door?
   * Penny from Big Bang Theory
5. It's a sunshine day! Describe your sunglasses.
   * Foster Grants from Rite Aid
   
   
6. You're on a 90-minute flight. How will you spend the time? Do you read a book? A magazine? Look out the window? Take a nap?
   * I watch out the window to see what there is to see. If there’s cloud cover, that isn’t much. Generally I read. I haven’t been able to sleep on a flight yet.
7. Do you have a favorite brand of toothpaste?
   * Colgate Cinn-o-mint
8. How many keys are on your key ring?
   * Three… apartment, office and Subaru
9. What do you miss about summertime?
   * The heat, the green, the sunshine from 6am to 10pm, being able to go outside without “preparing”, and driving anywhere without “preparing”.

Five Question Friday: 03/01/2013

1. What was the most productive thing you have done this week?
   * Went to the gym four times… which resulted in a loss of 2.2 lbs at weigh-in last night.
2. Enjoying the winter or ready for spring?
   * I’m not a fan of winter. I see it as four months of dreariness to be survived.
3. Are you an introvert or extrovert?
   * Depending on the situation I can be an extrovert. My default position is as an introvert.
4. Would you rather go without music or television for 1 year?
   * If I had to choose, it would be television. Music is my sanctuary, even in the midst of chaos.
5. Have you ever been truly scared of someone?
   * Yes. A couple years ago a man I trusted had an obvious mental health break which included coming to my office where he verbally threatened me with physical violence.