Friday, March 29, 2013

100th Post

If you look back to my old blog, you will see that I used to post my thoughts on a great number of topics. My life changed significantly from the first to the last post there. This blog has existed since July 5, 2010. But it has never really become what the old blog was.... I blame Facebook. It is so much easier to express my opinions rapidly, without much thought or analysis.

It has been nearly five years since I've been 'out', in that five years the most significant relationships have been tumultuous and painful. The one significant same-sex relationship I've had was riddled with lies and theft. He was living with another man while playing me, even proposing to me at one point. He used my ignorance and naivete to grift me. When I finally pulled the plug, I set out on a path to learn from the mistakes I made. One of the biggest lessons involved declaring bankruptcy. I will not compromise on my passions or disregard the fluttering red flags. This has meant ending relationships that had promise, but would have required compromising on core beliefs. I've met someone who actually compliments my passions, that doesn't ask me to compromise on them and loves me for who I am. I am optimistic about this gentleman and our future.

The other relationship that refuses to fade into the past is the one with my ex-wife. She cannot seem to let go of the pain and resentment that I brought into her life. I believe that the act of coming out was more than her fundamentalist christianist heart could stand. So her mission appears to be sucking as much joy out of my life as possible. Just when I think that things have moderated, a sucker punch comes out of left field. Recently I was served with papers declaring that she is "entitled" to more child support money. Even though our eldest children (the twins) will be 18 this summer. In Oregon, the custodial parent only has to call Child Support Enforcement and ask for more money. If I want to change the terms, I have to get a lawyer and pay court fees.

As it stands right now, I'm not left with much to live on once my basic bills are paid. I do nothing extravagant. I pay for a few things that some would consider a luxury (cell phone and cable service). If her demands go into effect, I will be left with less than $100 for food, gas and incidentals. I'm not asking for a change in the custodial agreement, all I'm asking is for the Judge to have mercy and allow me some money to live on each month. I meet with my lawyer on Monday to go over the documents.

Generally, I stick to meme's on this corner of the interwebs because I don't want to let the drama of my life spill out. By following a pre-selected questions with a humorous/sarcastic theme, the pain is released a bit without too much bile.

Thanks for your time...


  1. Obviously that sucks, John T.
    It is unfortunate that our laws are so jilted against fathers, and against gays as well. I still do not understand the logic of some of those laws and struggle with that daily as well.

    Hang in there. After 3 1/2 years here, my ex has finally started to realize that she is hurting the kids more than me and has started to thaw. Let's hope your's does the same.

  2. I use my TMI posts for the opposite reason you do. I found that I was shying away from the "personal aspect" of blogging. My life had become very small in scope and I had few things to blog about. So I started do the TMI to encourage me to share myself and delve into drama of my life.