Saturday 9: Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart

1. This song is about love at first sight. Do you believe that immediate attraction lasts?
   I believe in LUST at first sight. There has to be something carnal that attracts one to another, beyond that there must be a deeper connection in order to make the relationship last.
2. The lyrics mention "a breath of spring" and robins singing. Now that we're deep into winter, what do you miss about spring?
   Daylight, heat, green, beauty, purpose… LIFE.
3. Though the world knew her as Judy Garland, this week's featured artist was born Frances Gumm and her family called her "Baby." Does your family have any pet names for you?
   To the people that matter, I’m Dad. The Boy calls me “old man” when he’s feeling brave.
4. Because she was petite -- just 4'11 -- it was obvious when Garland gained even a few pounds and consequently she battled her weight her whole life. Now that we're in the new year, have you made any resolutions about your own diet?
   Over the past two years I’ve lost a total of 130 lbs. (see widget in sidebar), I’d like to lose another 45-50 lbs. Whether that happens this year or beyond… it’s a significant goal.
5. The year this song came out, 1939, was the year Garland's most famous movie, The Wizard of Oz, was released. Which of her three traveling companions is your favorite: Scarecrow, Tin Man or Cowardly Lion?
   I loved Scarecrow. He was intellectually curious and demonstrated critical thinking skills. When I was younger, I didn’t know that was what he was doing, but I respected him for it.  
6. Barry Manilow enjoyed Judy's performance of this song so much he did a "dream duet" with her and included it in his recent CD. What performer who is no longer with us do you wish you could have seen in concert?
   That is a tough one. I am really into music so the list is long. John Lennon, Johnny Cash, Ray Charles… I saw Stevie Ray Vaughn the summer before he died, but I’d love to see him again. The one that tops the list though, Freddie Mercury!
7. Judy had a terrible problem with tardiness. Are you usually prompt?
   Yes
8. During World War II, Judy worked tirelessly to entertain the troops. Tell us about a cause that's near and dear to your heart.
   Homeless youth. Generally they are homeless because they are LGBT and their “christianist” families are so full of love they have disowned their child. Fargin’ Bastages!
9. The American Film Institute lists Garland as the 8th greatest movie star of all time. Who is your all time favorite actor or actress?
   John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Sean Connery, Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall, Maureen O’Hara, Denzel Washington, Meryl Streep, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham-Carter, Alan Rickman, Tom Hanks, Robin Williams, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Gregory Peck, Cary Grant, Doris Day, James Garner… shall I go on?

2015 Goals

2015 is off to a roaring start… before it gets too far gone I must make my annual list of goals I’m setting for myself. I did a lot of driving last week so I had time to really ponder what I wanted to accomplish this year. They became rather lofty the longer I drove. Somewhere around Hood River I was thinking I could write a novel. Considering the gaps in posts to this humble blog, I felt that the great American novel may be out of reach. In the end, I felt the KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) Method was perhaps the best way to go.

1. To lose 45 lbs. -- Two years ago I set an arbitrary goal weight… 235 lbs. I am just 45 lbs. away. That’s just 3.75 lbs. per month… totally doable!
2. Purchase and most importantly USE a bicycle – I used to love riding a bike… 30 years ago! I see so many people in lycra cruising the county roads and appearing to enjoy it. They certainly look fit. Maybe I’ll look HOT in lycra?
3. Take a REAL vacation – I’m not sure what that means, but I’ll know it when I see it. I think a REAL vacation is more than just a long weekend in Seattle or Boise.
4. Perform my job duties EXCELLENTLY! – Again, not sure what that will look like, but I’ll know it when I see it. The biggest sign will be if I am still in my current job or something better by January 2016… that would be EXCELLENT!
5. UNPLUG – I hear this is the trendy thing to do in the world of expanding television channel offerings and bundled services. I currently pay $140/month for DishTV and internet and $7 a month for Netflix. I could get stand alone internet service, with Netflix AND Hulu AND Amazon Prime for HALF what I’m paying for Dish. My current agreement with Dish ends in August I think.

There you have it… FIVE goals. Here’s to a prosperous New Year!

Sunday Stealing: 2014/2015

Wantonly Stolen from: German Language Rocks

1. What experience would you love to do all over again?
   -- Watching the Seahawks win the Superbowl… wait! I may get to do that again!
2. What was the best gift you received?
   -- Time with my kids as they transition to being young adults 
3. How did your overall outlook on life evolve?
   -- After years of being who I though others wanted to me to be, I embraced the Shakespearean Mantra… To thine own self be true.
4. What was the biggest problem you solved?
   -- I let a smooth talker with a nice body move into my house, it took three months to get him out.
5. What was the funniest moment of your year, one that still makes it hard not to burst out laughing when you think about it?
   -- The weekend we had in Boise in June was a lot of fun.
6. What purchase turned out to be the best decision ever?
   -- My very own washer and dryer… no more wasted afternoons at the Laundromat.
7. What one thing would you do differently and why?
   -- Look at the Joy Jar post… every event is a learning opportunity; especially the ones that started off as a good idea at the time.
8. What do you deserve a pat on the back for?
   -- Moments of personal growth and accomplishment… goals that are met, obstacles overcome. And those moments when I resisted the urge to smack someone repeatedly with a tackhammer.
9. What activities made you lose track of time?
   -- Those glorious moments with family and friends away from the duties of daily life.
10. What did you think about more than anything else?
    -- Uncertainty of my ability to be victorious over the challenges before me.
11. What topics did you most enjoy learning about?
    -- The procedures that go with the new responsibilities at work
12. What new habits did you cultivate?
    -- Eating less, moving more.
13. What advice would you give your early-2014 self if you could?
    -- Listen to you gut, pay attention to the red flags… be strong!
14. Did any parts of your self or your life do a complete 180 this year?
    -- If something isn’t working for you… change it. My weight, my career trajectory, my relationships… if it isn’t working, why keep banging your head against the wall?
15. What or who had the biggest positive impact on your life this year?
    -- Losing weight had a huge personal impact on how I feel about myself. My boss had an impact by believing in me for new responsibilities at work.
16. What do you want the overarching theme for your 2015 to be?
    -- To Thine Own Self Be True
17. What do you want to see, discover, explore?
    -- I’m not sure yet. I want to continue to explore my ability to participate in physical activities. I would love to travel this year, but finances are always an issue.
18. Who do you want to spend more time with in 2015?
    -- I always want more time with my kids than I get.
19. What skills do you want to learn, improve or master?
    -- I want to learn how to properly lift weights with proper nutrition to achieve the embodiment of BEAST MODE.
20. Which personal quality do you want to develop or strengthen?
    -- I want to increase my ability to think and speak rationally in pressure situations.
21. What do you want your everyday life to be like?
    -- Less stressful… I want to be able to change the things I can, not stress the things I can’t and the wisdom to know the difference.
22. Which habits do you want to change, cultivate or get rid of?
    -- I want to increase the commitment and stability of healthy eating.
23. What do you want to achieve career-wise?
    -- Since I achieved a major shift in my profession in 2014, I want to continue growing in that position and achieve excellence in it.
24. How do you want to remember the year 2015 when you look back on it 10/20/50 years from now?
    --As with every year, I want to be better at the end than I was at the beginning. That can mean so many things.
25. What is your number one goal for 2015?
    -- Rather than regretting my mistakes, I want to see them not as regrets, but as learning opportunities.

Joy Jar - 2014

In 2014 I was challenged to make a Joy Jar. I got an interesting jar with plans to decorate it (as pictured, that didn’t happen) and put slips of paper with the things that made me happy or brought me joy during the year. I also put ticket stubs in there since I like movies and they bring me Joy. On 01/01/15 I opened the jar and began sorting through the slips of paper. I noticed two things…

1. The ups out numbered the downs in 2014 and they brought back good memories.
2. During the down times, there are gaps. Which means I need to do a better job of seeing the joy in my life even on the stressful days.

Below are the things that brought me JOY in 2014… some were short lived, others made a tremendous impact… some were lessons learned… some were a fork in the road. They are written just as I wrote them on that day with the same emphasis. I thought about adding commentary, but I think I’ll just leave them as they are and let them speak for themselves.

January

1 – I saw Saving Mr. Banks
2 – Avery learned I was in Pendleton and asked me to stop by where she was. She gave me a BIG HUG and said “I love you”. **She also noticed I have been losing weight.
4 – Avery stopped by and brought me a Dutch Bros coffee.
4 – Fitting into size 50 pants.
5 – Bohemian Rhapsody
9 – Meaghan advised me not to apply for the job in John Day.
10 – Having a chat with Andrew about REAL christianity and GENUINE spirituality.
11 – SEAHAWKS WIN
15 – Buying prescription sunglasses
17 – New couch
19 – Ginger & Darrell came over to watch the NFC game with me. GO HAWKS!!!
20 – Walking in the MLK Peace Walk – Life’s most persistent and urgent question is what are you doing for others? MLK
27 – Tom reminding me of great music of our youth. Loud & Singing along!
30 – Offered a chance to be a supervisor in Boardman

February

2 – SEAHAWKS WIN!!!9 – I saw August Osage County
22 – Met Richard… dinner at Applebee's… Ams vs. Everett

March

1 – Blazer game with Bryan
2 – Breakfast with Rosalynda & Bryan
5 – MF asked me to be with him at an appointment for support and advice.
6 – I met a most wonderful/beautiful man.
7 – I saw Need For Speed

April

4 – I saw Captain America: Winter Soldier with Avery & Jessica
13 – Hawks Tattoo

May

7 – Being recruited by a social service agency.
24 – I saw X-Men: Days of Future Past
31 – I saw Maleficent with Avery & Jess

June

2 – Interview at Astoria
12 – Jess finished the 8th grade
14 – Spending the day with Jess
15 – Avery took me to lunch #FathersDay
19 – Interview for Pendleton supervisor
25 – I GOT IT! The new gig starts 7/1
27 – Traveling to Boise with Jess
28 – Boise Music Festival with Bryan & Jess29 – Touring the Old Idaho Prison with Jess & Bryan

July

1 – New gig in Pendleton
25 – I saw Hercules

August

2 – Moved to Pendleton
3 – Andrew asked for a key so he could “hang” since HS is nearby
7 – Andrew came to watch Hawks pre-season game
10 – Jess’ cake won GRAND CHAMPION at the Fair
17 – I met T
19 – First “date” at GP
22 – First road trip to Portland.
30 – T moved in
** Not many Joys coming up **

September

3 – Seeing T as a woman… wow!

October

10 – I saw Gone Girl

November

1 – I saw The Judge
10 – I saw Interstellar
11 – A much needed day at home ALONE
14 – Amazing event at work
14 – Coworker told me that they weren’t sure I would take to my new job. She and other managers have been impressed.
27 – Avery, Andrew and Jess were here for Thanksgiving.

December

4 – T is finally gone… GOOD Riddance!
25 – Andrew, Avery and Jess came over to exchange Christmas gifts.

Saturday 9: Dancing With Myself

Saturday 9: Dancing with Myself (1980)

1. This song is one of Billy Idol's biggest hits. Can you name another?
   Seriously? YES…. White Wedding, Rock the Cradle of Love, Rebel Yell, Mony Mony, Hot in the City, Eyes without a Face, Got to be a Lover…
2. When is the last time you danced around your home?
   This morning
3. In this song, Billy says he dances with his own reflection. Is there a mirror in the room you're in right now?
   Yes, but it’s one of those that has a shelf for knick-nacks and looks like a window.
4. Dancing with Myself is also the name of Billy Idol's 2014 autobiography. Let's say you're going to write your life story. What do you title it?
   Life is a Bitch… if it were easy, it would be a whore.
5. This month, Billy resumes his 2014-15 concert tour in New Orleans. Have you ever been to Louisiana?
   Sadly, no…. but it’s on my Bucket List 
6. In 1980, when "Dancing with Myself" was first popular, VHS players were all the rage. Do you still have yours?
   No, the last VCR went to the Blockbuster in the sky several years ago.
7. In 1980, The Love Boat was getting good ratings. Have you ever taken a cruise?
   Again… sadly, no. But it’s on my Bucket List
8. Sally Field won her first Oscar in 1980 for the movie Norma Rae. Five years later she won a second Oscar for Places in the Heart and delivered one of the most quoted acceptance speeches in Academy history. Do you remember what she said?
   Everybody in my generation does… You like me… You REALLY like me!
9. In 1980, People magazine named Stephen King one of the most intriguing people of the year because he had two big paperback bestsellers -- The Dead Zone and The Shining. Do you have a favorite Stephen King book?
   Salem’s Lot, The Shining and Carrie

2014: The Year That Was–A Report Card

The new year is ten days old… time to wrap up 2014 and set some new goals for 2015.

I posted my goals for 2014 on January 12th… HERE. The report card is as follows.

Physically

• To participate in local physical events that benefit causes I’m passionate about. Up first is The Climb on April 12th to raise awareness of bullying, self-harm and suicide prevention. – I attempted The Climb, but only made it about 1/4 mile up the mountain. I also attempted a couple other 5k’s with increased success, finishing both of them. Also, I started “running” in June. I enjoy it, mainly because it’s easy to push myself to make it to the next corner or driveway. I’m following the “Couch to 5k” program. I use an app that has me running/walking in circuits to increase stamina. (Grade: B)
• To purchase and use a bicycle. – Didn’t happen. (Grade: F)
• To look Damn Sexy like Chris Pratt (good lord! look at him!). This picture is from the amazing 2014 movie Guardians of the Galaxy. If you didn’t see that movie, perhaps you know him as the woofy Andy Dwyer on the NBC show, Parks and Recreation? – Didn’t happen… at least not in 2014. I was somewhat consistent with exercise, but not enough to post shirtless selfies. I’m hopeful for 2015. (Grade: C)
• GRADE: D

Personally

I know that I will never find the man of my dreams as long as I’m damaged goods. I need to feel good about myself and be the person with whom I would want to be in a relationship. Over the past five years, I haven’t had much luck finding the right guy, and it seems I was the common denominator in all those failures… wherever you go, there you are. – Oh boy did I pick a clinker this year. A three month “relationship” that took that long mostly just to get him out of my house after I let the lust of the initial connection overpower my senses.

• Maybe if I looked more like Chris Pratt and less like Chris Farley? – Getting better, but still not ready for shirtless selfies.
• Be confident in who I am and live a life with no regrets. – I hooked up with a couple guys that were possibilities for something more mainly due to my increased confidence that lead me to actually talk to these guys. The Clinker was a 6’6” black man with a smokin’ body and the mind of a sociopath.
• Leaving the negativity of the past and embracing the possibilities of NOW. –Live and learn. Mr. Right is out there somewhere… Excelsior!
• I feel that if I were more involved in LIFE, Mr. Right will find me. So I will get up and get out and participate. – Onward and Upward. As long as I take care of me, he will find me.
• Grade: F … lessons learned, but the goal was unmet.

Professionally

At work, 2013 ended filled with optimism. I participated in a Leadership Project with The Agency and my annual performance review commended me for participation in that Project and in taking on several optional duty assignments. 

• Continue to perform my duties and those voluntary duties with professional excellence.
• Position myself to take advantage of advancement opportunities. – I won a promotion that began July 1st!
• Take opportunities to be a valuable member of the team.
• GRADE: A

Overall grade for 2014 – D

This is better than I did in 2013… F

Perhaps I’ll get it right by the time I turn 50 in 2019?

2014: The Year that Was, Pt. I

Sean of “Just A Jeep Guy” used to have a recurring meme called TMI. I usually posted on Thursday, because I do love a bit of alliteration. Something apparently tragic occurred to Sean’s cyber existence in 2014, I hope it resolves and he returns to the interwebs.

On December 26, 2013, I wrote THIS. Just how did my predictions play out?

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014!

No resolutions! Just your best hopes and wishes for 2014!

• Entertainment
• Most who know me, know that I love movies. There are a number of films coming out in 2014 that I’m looking forward to seeing.
• February – Robocop –Didn’t see it. I heard it was a stinker.
• March – 300: Rise of an Empire 
  --Didn’t see it.
• April – Captain America: Winter Soldier – Saw it… LOVED it!
• May – X-Men: Days of Future Past, Maleficent –Saw it… LOVED it!
• July – Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Jupiter Ascending (it has Channing Tatum) – I had some stuff going on in my life in July, I’ll post about it later this week. I didn’t see either of these. But, Planet of the Apes is available On Demand, so that one will be remedied.
• December – Annie – I was looking forward to seeing this movie when I was just a concept. The more clips I see the less I want to see it. Even the great Jaime Foxx cannot touch Albert Finney’s performance and Cameron Diaz should have her performance erased from her resume.
  I did see quite a few movies in 2014, stay tuned for the post that results from opening the 2014 Happy Jar.
• Politically
• • I’m sorry, I have no expectations of either party as 2014 is an election year. Which is saying something after the clusterfuck that was 2013. – No expectations… TONS of disappointment!
  • On the marriage equality front; between court cases and the ballot box equality will spread across the nation. – And it did… 36 states and counting! I finally got one right!
• Globally
• The Sochi Winter Games will become an international Pride Festival. – It kinda did. Many delegations and individual athletes brushed aside Putin’s backwards anti-gay policies and openly demonstrated their support for equality.
• Personally
• There will be a fuller post regarding my personal goals for 2014 next week. That being said, my annual goal remain the same from year-to-year… I will continue to seek out ways to improve myself professionally, physically and emotionally so that I am a better human at the end of 2014 than I was at the beginning. – I definitely improved myself professionally. I won a promotion to a supervisory position at my place of employment. That was worth quite a few entries in the Happy Jar.
• Friends
• My best friends live too far away… my goals for the year is to make time to spend time with them on a more frequent basis.—I had a couple opportunities in 2014 to spend some good times with friends in Portland and Boise. Seattle is definitely on the To-Do list for 2015.  
• Family
  • I am constantly reminded that my time with my kids is short and I’m not the one who controls the narrative of how they regard me; that is totally under the control of my X. I hope to take the time to make the most of it as I have another child turning 18 in 2014. I’ve got a plan on in the hopper for Spring Break. I’m hoping that the pieces fall into place. We haven’t been to the coast in two years. –The plan over spring break didn’t happen. The Boy turned 18 last week, that leaves me with just one minor child. I did get moved to Pendleton in 2014, but a disastrous romantic (snort) entanglement sucked the joy out of his final football season. The positive thing to being back in the same town as my kids allows them to pop by when the feeling strikes them. Actually, my eldest daughter has moved in with me. We try to make the best of it.
  Your Suggestion
• • meh… I’ve got nothing. Sorry Sean. – Still nothing.

Bonus

• Sexually
• It is my hope that I will continue to improve myself and become the person that I would want to be with… hopefully, someone else would feel that way too… it would be awesome if that person were Ian Parks from Where the Bears Are. – Good God! Right after I moved back to Pendleton, I met a guy and even though I tried to keep an eye on the fluttering of red flags, he moved in with me and it took almost three months to get him out. He was a good looking TALL, black man… but being a controlling, paranoid, suspicious asshole cancels out the physical ‘attributes’ one would think comes along with being a tall black man. In my mind, romance takes place in the mind and in life outside the bedroom. So… Ian… I’m still available.