Blogging Challenge: Day 1

OK… This time I REALLY mean it.
No, seriously!
Stop laughing…. Hello? Is this thing on?
I’ve been talking about getting into blogging again, I make a post that I think is going to be the one to get me back into the swing of things, then three weeks later… BUPKUS!
Originally, I saw this interesting blogging challenge offered by the incredibly good looking and talented author of West of Mayberry back in January. I thought, “Yes, this will do it”. I set up the special tab you can see above and that’s as far as it went. Yesterday, the equally good looking and talented author of Nice to See Stevie B, called me out as a participant. I’m glad he did that. Sometimes we just need a kick in the ass.

Day 1: Intro and 15 Facts

1. I spent a good portion of my adult life as a radio DJ.
2. I had a daily talk show for three years.
3. I have one sibling… whom I haven’t seen in over 10 years.
4. I once lost 140 lbs.
5. I found it again
6. I’ve been to 27 states and one Canadian province.
7. I have three daughters, a son and an X-wife from a previous life.
8. My son is everything I wish I was at that age (and he will probably continue to be so).
9. I am mocked by my co-workers for leaving a tidy desk every night.
10. I was once investigated by the Secret Service as a threat to a President I now idolize.
11. I broke my leg falling off my parents house while trying to emulate Clark Griswold’s holiday lighting mastery.
12. I have very low self-esteem. Maybe that’s why I’m compelled to make a go at blogging again.
13. I become maniacally devoted to one show at a time. Currently, it is GLEE. The last one was The West Wing.
14. I get myself into personal “issues” that I am embarrassed to talk about. I’m in one right now. I can look back and see the exact moment I should have known better and I ignored it.
15. I’m a self-taught football fan.

The TV Meme

For the record, I have many thoughts about current events or activities in which my kids or myself are participating. I just choose not to put the info out there because the last time I did, I got my hand slapped. My sister was asking why I wasn't posting the other day and it got me thinking... I should and just see what happens.

We shall start with a meme. Friends who know my previous blogging endeavors, know that I loves me some memes.  This particular one was wantonly stolen from Patently Queer. My tastes (or lack thereof) will become obvious shortly.

Back in the Day — 5 TV Shows You Loved As A Kid
Mork & Mindy
The Cosby Show
The Dukes of Hazzard
Magnum PI
Designing Women

That’s Hot — 5 TV Characters You Would Do
Bo Duke (Dukes of Hazzard)
Rick Simon (Simon & Simon)
Thomas Magnum (Magnum PI)
Tony Micelli (Who's the Boss)
Woody Boyd (Cheers)

“Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs” — 5 TV Theme Songs You Know (and Love) By Heart
Cheers (Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got)
Laverne & Shirley (Schlameel, Schlamozzle, Hassenfeffer Incorporated)
All in the Family (mister we could sure use a man like Herbert Hoover again)
The Golden Girls (thank you for being a friend, travelled down that road and back again)
WKRP in Cincinnati (Baby, in case you ever wondered, wondered what ever became of me)

Meh — 5 “Hit” Shows You Never Could Get Into
The Office
China Beach
24
Murder, She Wrote
NYPD Blue

The Starting Line-Up — 5 Channels You Go To First When You Sit Down to Watch TV
History
MSNBC
Travel
DIY
Food

“That’s What She Said” — 5 Quotes That Still Resonate
Col. Hannibal Smith (The A-Team)
"I love it when a plan comes together"
Dr. Cliff Huxtable (The Cosby Show)
"There is a problem, you haven't eaten yet!"
Capt. Benjamin F. Pierce (MASH)
"Who would name their kid BJ?" BJ in response "Maybe my mom Bea Hunnicut or my dad, Jay Hunnicut"
Dorothy Zbornak (The Golden Girls)
"Of course you're not a communist Ma, you grew up in Italy; you're a fascist"
Mork (Mork & Mindy)
"They're so intent on looking out for number one, there's no room for number two"

“Gimme More” — 5 Shows You Can Never Get Enough Of
Glee
The Big Bang Theory
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations
Holmes on Holmes
NCIS

Malcontent = Complainer

I received the November edition of the Public Employees newsletter… I know what you’re thinking… John! How can I get on that mailing list? Sorry, you’ll just have to trust that I will pass the interesting parts onto you, my dear readers.

In and amongst the reminders that our new benefits guide will be mailed to us in the coming weeks and various other interesting articles about our fellow public employees. I followed a link about a guy who weighed 600 lbs and is now 238 lbs… Impressive, huh?

After reading the article and following a link to his blog, he inspired me.

FACTS

• In 2006 I weighed over 400 lbs.
• In 2008 I weighed 265 lbs.
• In 2010… I’m almost back up to 400 lbs.

After reading Mr. Brown’s article and parts of his blog, I thought of my blog (my former blog). I thought of its name… malcontent (It was called "Being John Malcontent"... I thought it was clever). I thought being a rabble-rouser was a positive thing… not so much anymore. It’s one thing to not be satisfied with the world around you or your lot in life. Its quite another to be satisfied to just whine about it. So I changed the mission of Being John Malcontent (and ultimately changed the name... and the platform). This is represented by the tagline…

it's easy to be a complainer, it takes some cajones to actually do something about it.

I am going to make an effort to change the tone of the posts too.

Chasing the Dragon

I recently finished reading Don Miller’s To Own A Dragon: Reflections on growing up without a father. Generally, I enjoy Miller’s writing but this book was different; perhaps that is owed to the subject matter. Miller makes the expected correlation that if you didn’t have a father or if yours was emotionally absent or abusive then that is how you will view God.
I have read most of Miller’s other books; Blue Like Jazz, Through Painted Deserts and Searching for God Knows What. I gained some insight for how Miller himself was able to navigate the journey to spiritual enlightenment, but in Dragon, I didn’t have the same feeling upon completion of the book. I felt as hopeless at the end of the book as I did when I started. Miller writes:

Sometimes human life can seem no more meaningful than a fish flopping on a shore. Writhing. Out of its element. And I would love to tell you my spirituality battles this perspective, that the real problem in life is wee believe we are writing when we aren't, but it isn’t true. My spirituality, that Christian spirituality, does not tell me to close my eyes and pretend life is beautiful ant there are not problems to confront. I am told instead, I am out of water, and finding water again will require a different kind of water. I am told something happened a long time ago and you and I and everybody else were washed up on shore. We will have issues.

The problem I have with Miller’s metaphor is the same one I have with the idea that your Dad is God… my Dad was a sadistic bully and strangely enough, I have found God to be the same. When I was drinking the evangelical Kool-Aid I tried all the magic combinations of walking the talk and speaking the languages (including the mystical AG-ese Bought a Mazda, shoulda bought a Honda). Instead of reaping the blessings of Paul & Jan Crouch, I saw God as a cosmic Mad Scientist and me the laboratory rat. God/Dad watching me race around the maze as he laughed maniacally and moved the cheese, the walls, changing the whole fucking game. Not only did they hook me and land me, but they’re standing by as I flop about on the shore gouging myself on the sharp rocks without having the mercy to either put me out of my misery or tossing me back in the water. And some would say I just need to adjust my sights to LOVE and my world will transform… sorry, Paul & Jan… I’ve already tried that strategy.

Keep your eye on the Queen

My newest favorite show is Leverage on TNT. The writing is snappy, the actors are great, the premise is engaging and, while it’s set in Boston… its filmed in Oregon. Recently, I watched an episode called “The Three Card Monte Job”. Tom Skerritt played Nate’s (Tim Hutton) father who was a crook when Nate was growing up. Through the episode, there were flashbacks to when Nate was a kid and Dad was trying to teach him to play Three-card Monte. During the lesson’s Dad repeats, “Keep your eye on the Queen”.

Last week there was a big story about how 17 State Attorneys General sent a collective letter to Craisglist founders protesting the adult service ads one can find on the site. Bowing to this immense pressure, Craigslist announced they would no longer post Adult Service ads. If you go to your local Craigslist this morning, you will see that the Adult Service Ads are indeed CENSORED.

• The problem is that it’s window dressing.
• Nothing has really changed.
• If you want some Adult companionship, all you have to do is look above and to the left.

• They took their eye off the Queen…
• Because it was never in play. Just like in Three-card Monte.

Dream Job

Sometime this week the economists for the State of Oregon will publish the quarterly budget projection. Oregon operates on a biennial budget. That means that the budget we’re operating under in August 2010, and will continue to operate under through June 30, 2011; was determined during the spring of 2009. It’s crazy, but its how we do things in this progressive paradise.

Back in May, the economists announced that there was a $500+ million hole in the budget. Since the states cannot operate under a deficit, the Governor announced a 9% across the board cut. Basically targeting Social Services, other agencies were untouched until they “voluntarily” cut their budgets. Many of the contracted services I work with were cut and there are two open positions in my district which will remain open until… who knows when. Disaster averted.

The economists are saying that there will be ANOTHER $300-500 million hole in the budget when the quarterly budget projection is made this week. Layoffs were avoided last quarter by issuing a hiring freeze and leaving positions open. The Director is talking layoffs this time…

Should I get that pink slip, I’m thinking I should shuck my life of ALL entanglements and become a bartender in a place that Kenny Chesney would sing about…

Sunday Secrets

Sunday Secrets is a blog, turned book, turned speaking tour. We all have secrets we desperately want to get off our chest, but are scared that people would judge or, even worse, that no one would care. The concept is simple, maybe we would tell our secrets if we could do it anonymously. So they have built a movement out of people mailing in postcards with their secrets. Sometimes the secrets are on a sticky note in a copy of the book, or found on a scrap of paper at a speaking event. Basically, getting things off your chest is good for you.

About once a month there’s a secret that could be mine. Perhaps, that is what keeps me from actually participating in the game. Tonight, there was one that could have been written by me. Not just the concept, but the words, sentiment, the emotion and even the penmanship.
I talked to my sister last night and learned that our 72-year old father is out of work… I know he needs someone to care. I know that one of us should open the door and say, “Dad, you can stay here”.
Its hard to muster up that kind of charity for the man who took every chance he could to remind me what a worthless piece of shit I was and to occasionally smack me around like the bitch he thought I was. He’s the last person on earth I turn to when I need help, because for the last 20 years there’s always been a reason not to give it.
I’m sorry, but you never seemed to want me in your home… it’s my turn to return the favor.