Every year recap the year and make goals for the year (they’re not resolutions). There is a gap because of an attempt at running a blog on my own domain. You will see a snapshot of the changes my life was making in the early years.
2013 was a year filled with promise, but ended up being a wash. I am hopeful that one day I can look aback and see it as a year of transition. Over the last several years, I’ve noticed a pattern that odd-numbered years can best be characterized as ‘learning experiences’… 2013 was certainly a learning experience.
January – March
2013 started with a lot of travel in my professional life. I put a great deal of miles on the car as I toured the state both to fulfill the duties of my job but also in a search for a new job that never came to be. I wrote about a relationship with a younger man that petered out in the early days of 2013.
What I learned… Whether it’s a job, or a man… desperately seeking something GOOD rarely works for long.
April – June
My doctor was growing increasingly ‘concerned’ about my weight and the co-morbidities that accompany being a middle-aged man weighing over 400 lbs. We talked about the benefits of weight loss surgery. These days there are people getting the band or gastric bypass. I applied for the procedure with the insurance approved clinic in Portland… and was denied. The doctor went to bat for me and the insurance company changed their mind. So the process began. Also… My eldest daughters graduated from high school and I went to my second Pride Fest in Portland, which was disappointing because myself, my partner and a guest were sick. I found myself in another short-lived relationship. This one failed because of distance (100 miles) and conflicting working schedules. We got along great, and from my perspective we still do, but going weeks at a time unable to work out time together caused what could have been something good to peter out.
What I learned… Getting old sucks… you have a choice… letting it happen or beating it back is up to you. Also, I’m done with relationships for a while. The next guy needs to chase after ME!
July – September
One of the requirements to qualify for surgery was to lose 5% of my body weight. I spent the summer at the gym. I dealt with a number of people who wondered if I could lose 20 lbs., why not just stick with it. These people are generally of normal weight and have no idea what its like to lose a bunch of weight and have it come back. If you take the time to look at Rejected Reality Classic, you will see that I’ve done it before and like most people the fat comes back with friends. I worked hard and was informed on September 17th that I met the qualifications for surgery.
What I learned… this is ME… this is MY life. If you have things to say, let me know which of my bills you will be paying.
October – December
Surgery was scheduled for October 28… it has been an amazing, challenging and rewarding experience. I closed out 2013, lighter than I started (widget on the right). And I’ve donated a big black garbage bag of clothes that has outgrown me. Just like in my personal life, I decided to quit desperately searching for a new job and see what comes my way. I dedicated myself to doing my current job well and seeking ways to expand my areas of responsibility. I completed a leadership academy within my agency and took on some voluntary assignments. It seems to be paying off; my annual review was very positive and encouraging.
What I learned… Nobody is going to change me, only I can change me.
That was 2013… here’s to 2014!