2013 Report Card

Last year I posted my goals for 2013… HERE… before I set new goals, lets evaluate how I did last year.

Professional

As I mentioned in my year-end post, I had hoped to begin the process of becoming a licensed Social Worker. I discovered that step one is to reinstate my membership in the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) and that will cost me about $200. Once that is in place, I will be able to access the list of “approved” supervisors whom I shall work under for approximately two years, which depending upon the particular supervisor I find will cost an additional fee. Supervision in needed so that the licensing body knows that you have the skills and knowledge to justify the responsibility that comes with licensure.

Of course, the obstacle here is finances (also mentioned in the previous post). So I will also be looking for a way to augment my budget. A colleague of mine has got herself into quite a deal working with an online college. I have been searching through the internets for similar opportunities that fit with my skills, with no leads thus far. But New Year optimism is fresh.

I did locate a way to supplement my income a bit but with the added medical expenses last year, I wasn’t able to put it toward pursuing a professional license. While I feel that gaining the license will open doors in life. I am putting this goal on the back burner for now and see what opportunities come my way. GRADE: F

Personal

While the new years goals to work on becoming more healthy are a dime a dozen, my doctor has been pointing out that I’ll me turning 44 this year and running on luck is becoming dangerous. The thing that frustrates me is that I’ve done it before and was unable to sustain it. If you look at my old blog you will wee the progress I made 2006-08 as I lost 160 lbs. The picture at right shows the progress after losing 70 lbs. What this picture doesn’t show is that I started at 412 lbs and made it to 245 before it started reversing when I went to graduate school and separated from my wife of 15 years. You might be surprised to hear that university and divorce has an adverse effect on your eating habits, especially when one has a tendency toward self-medicating with food. I am currently in the early stages of a relationship, so I have some motivation to not die. Watch this space as I track my progress.

The relationship failed, but this isn’t about that. Between WeightWatchers, working out and Gastric Bypass surgery; I lost 70 lbs. in 2013. GRADE: A

Community

2013 will be my second year of serving as Board Chair for a local non-profit which focused on LGBT rights and human dignity. I have some ideas on how to grow the organization in order to move it to a stated goal of building a combination homeless shelter and drop in center for LGBT friends and allies. If the organization doesn’t like my ideas, then we’ll just continue doing the fine work we’ve been doing for years. But if I can get buy-in, it could be a beginning of something great. I just need to find a way of conveying my passion for what needs to be done. It will take a group effort to make it work.

Sadly, there were systemic flaws in the non-profit that could not be overcome by the blood-sweat-tears of a band of dedicated volunteers. Many of the projects that were in the works in the early part of the year, died a withering death. My plan was received well by the dedicated band of volunteers, was a non-starter with the source of the systemic flaws. I’m still passionate about the things I stated in this goal last year. I am continuing to volunteer this season at our local warming shelter, a place for people to get in out of the cold during the cold weather months. GRADE: C

Overall grade for 2013: D

I’ll try to do better in 2014.

2013: The Year That Was

Every year recap the year and make goals for the year (they’re not resolutions). There is a gap because of an attempt at running a blog on my own domain. You will see a snapshot of the changes my life was making in the early years.

2007 – 2008 – 2011 – 2012 – 2013

2013 was a year filled with promise, but ended up being a wash. I am hopeful that one day I can look aback and see it as a year of transition. Over the last several years, I’ve noticed a pattern that odd-numbered years can best be characterized as ‘learning experiences’… 2013 was certainly a learning experience.

January – March

2013 started with a lot of travel in my professional life. I put a great deal of miles on the car as I toured the state both to fulfill the duties of my job but also in a search for a new job that never came to be. I wrote about a relationship with a younger man that petered out in the early days of 2013.
What I learned…  Whether it’s a job, or a man… desperately seeking something GOOD rarely works for long.

April – June

My doctor was growing increasingly ‘concerned’ about my weight and the co-morbidities that accompany being a middle-aged man weighing over 400 lbs. We talked about the benefits of weight loss surgery. These days there are people getting the band or gastric bypass. I applied for the procedure with the insurance approved clinic in Portland… and was denied. The doctor went to bat for me and the insurance company changed their mind. So the process began. Also… My eldest daughters graduated from high school and I went to my second Pride Fest in Portland, which was disappointing because myself, my partner and a guest were sick. I found myself in another short-lived relationship. This one failed because of distance (100 miles) and conflicting working schedules. We got along great, and from my perspective we still do, but going weeks at a time unable to work out time together caused what could have been something good to peter out.
What I learned… Getting old sucks… you have a choice… letting it happen or beating it back is up to you. Also, I’m done with relationships for a while. The next guy needs to chase after ME!

July – September

One of the requirements to qualify for surgery was to lose 5% of my body weight. I spent the summer at the gym. I dealt with a number of people who wondered if I could lose 20 lbs., why not just stick with it. These people are generally of normal weight and have no idea what its like to lose a bunch of weight and have it come back. If you take the time to look at Rejected Reality Classic, you will see that I’ve done it before and like most people the fat comes back with friends. I worked hard and was informed on September 17th that I met the qualifications for surgery.
What I learned… this is ME… this is MY life. If you have things to say, let me know which of my bills you will be paying.

October – December

Surgery was scheduled for October 28… it has been an amazing, challenging and rewarding experience. I closed out 2013, lighter than I started (widget on the right). And I’ve donated a big black garbage bag of clothes that has outgrown me. Just like in my personal life, I decided to quit desperately searching for a new job and see what comes my way. I dedicated myself to doing my current job well and seeking ways to expand my areas of responsibility. I completed a leadership academy within my agency and took on some voluntary assignments. It seems to be paying off; my annual review was very positive and encouraging.
What I learned… Nobody is going to change me, only I can change me.

That was 2013… here’s to 2014!

Saturday 9: Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Saturday 9: Baby, It's Cold Outside

1. How cold is it where you are?
   -- We’re sitting at 27 foggy degrees right now in NE Oregon.
2. This familiar song was introduced in a 1949 film called Neptune's Daughter. Name another movie song.
   -- The Tiger Song from The Hangover
   --
3. Who was the last person to call you "baby?"
   -- A very handsome Ginger bear.
4. This time of year is important to college football fans. Have you watched/will you watch any bowl games?
   -- I watched the Oregon State Beavers defeat the Boise State Broncos in the Hawaii Bowl.  
5. Are you sad to see the holiday decorations begin to slowly disappear? Or do you think they should all come down right away?
   -- I take mine down the day after Christmas.
6. Did you tell the truth about your weight on your driver's license, or did you shave off a pound or two?
   -- Our licenses in Oregon are good for 8 years. When I got my license, I was going through separation and divorce and was taking my frustrations out at the gym. My weight was accurate at THAT time. In the last 6 years, the weight came back… with friends. I am shedding the weight again and my weight will be LESS when I renew my license July 2015.
7. Crazy Sam (the author of this meme) swears that the Echinacea she takes every morning keeps her healthy. Her boyfriend tells her she's wasting her money. Do you take any herbal supplements?
   -- I take a melatonin nightly to help me sleep.
8. The average restaurant in the US tip is 18%. Are you a generous tipper?
   -- If the service is good, yes. If it’s ‘as expected’ I hover around the traditional 15%.
9. This is the last Saturday 9 of 2013. Do you know the lyrics to "Auld Lang Syne?”
   -- For the most part, yes.

TMI Thursday: Happy New Year 2014!

Sean at Just a Jeep Guy started it, now all the cool kids are doing it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014!

No resolutions! Just your best hopes and wishes for 2014!

• Entertainment
• Most who know me, know that I love movies. There are a number of films coming out in 2014 that I’m looking forward to seeing.
• February – Robocop
• March – 300: Rise of an Empire
• April – Captain America: Winter Soldier
• May – X-Men: Days of Future Past, Maleficent
• July – Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Jupiter Ascending (it has Channing Tatum)
• December – Annie
• Politically
• I’m sorry, I have no expectations of either party as 2014 is an election year. Which is saying something after the clusterfuck that was 2013.
• On the marriage equality front; between court cases and the ballot box equality will spread across the nation.
• Globally
• The Sochi Winter Games will become an international Pride Festival.
• Personally
• There will be a fuller post regarding my personal goals for 2014 next week. That being said, my annual goal remain the same from year-to-year… I will continue to seek out ways to improve myself professionally, physically and emotionally so that I am a better human at the end of 2014 than I was at the beginning.
• Friends
• My best friends live too far away… my goals for the year is to make time to spend time with them on a more frequent basis.
• Family
• I am constantly reminded that my time with my kids is short and I’m not the one who controls the narrative of how they regard me; that is totally under the control of my X. I hope to take the time to make the most of it as I have another child turning 18 in 2014. I’ve got a plan on in the hopper for Spring Break. I’m hoping that the pieces fall into place. We haven’t been to the coast in two years.
• Your Suggestion
• meh… I’ve got nothing. Sorry Sean.

Bonus

• Sexually
• It is my hope that I will continue to improve myself and become the person that I would want to be with… hopefully, someone else would feel that way too… it would be awesome if that person were Ian Parks from Where the Bears Are.

TMI Thursday: Call Me

Sean at Just a Jeep Guy started it, now all the cool kids are doing it.

CALL ME

• Do you still have a land line?
• I hadn’t had a land line since 2002 until I called to renegotiate my cable/internet package during the Fall of 2012. They offered to give ma landline for a “Great Deal”. I tried to resist, but they wouldn’t budge. I took the land line for one year. In that year, all I got from it was telemarketers and bill collectors to previous holders of that number. When I called this past fall to renegotiate my “deal” with the cable/internet provider I got an even better deal without the land line.
• Which cell phone do you use and why?
• I have a Droid Razr HD because it’s SUPER cool. I like the battery life and I’ve always had good luck with Motorola products.
• Which provider do you use? Is there really a difference?
• I use Verizon. Living in a rural area, it serves me well with few dropped calls. The only provider I’ve had a bad experience is Sprint, but that was 10+ years ago, so I don’t know if they still suck. But they do have great ads.
• If you call someone and they don't pick up, do you leave a message?
• Nope
• When you have a missed call (with no message), do you call the person back?
• Nope
• Do you txt willingly or reluctantly? How are your skills?
• Willingly? It depends on the person. I do my best to respond quickly. Sometimes when I’m at work that can be a challenge.
• Has your cell replaced your camera?
• It has. I ran across my Canon Sure Shot the other day. The battery didn’t have a charge so I put it back where I found it. I’ll run across it again someday.
• Selfies....
• I’m taking them regularly to document the change in the size of my body. I took some shirtless shots that I will unveil when there is an “after” shot to go with them. This is me last Sunday, 64 lbs. lost.
• How many apps do you have? Which is your favorite and why?
• I’ve honestly never counted them… there are quite a few. The ones I use most frequently are on one of 5 screens, while the less frequently used aps (like the Portland Tri-Met app) are in the background folder.
• My favorites are Foursquare, OregonLive, Facebook, a wordfind game and Growlr.
• What would life be like with no cell/smart phone for one month?
• Very lonely. It is my primary… hell, it’s my only connection to long distant friends.

BONUS

• How much has your cell phone become a part of your sex life?
• As I do not have a current relationship, it is my connection to the occasional tryst.
• Sexting
• There are a couple guys who participate is a little explicit texting… it has been known to make the workday move along.
• hookup apps
• Growlr is my friend
• selfies
• Usually part of sexting
• video
• There are a couple videos known to exist.
• GPS
• Growlr uses GPS
• more?
• What more could you want?

TMI Thursday: The War on Christmas

Sean at Just a Jeep Guy started it, now all the cool kids are doing it

THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS 2013

• Which religion or faith do you belong to, if any?
• I am a recovering evangelical. I believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ to love your neighbor and ‘do unto the least of these’. My charitable giving and volunteer work reflects that. A wholly foreign concept to the clubhouse christiansists. The religiosity of some forced on others this time of year without action or deed backing it up makes me cranky.
• What is your opinion of Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays?
• I get an allergic reaction to issues that cause some to get their panties in a twist. I use both, whatever feels right in the moment.
• Holiday music on the radio? When and how much?
• On the radio? No… I cannot control the banality of the “holiday” tunes they air. I get a facial tic if I hear ‘Santa Baby’ or ‘Christmas Shoes’. Therefore, I have built a Holiday music playlist in iTunes that has a beautiful selection of Bing, Perry, Elvis, Michael Buble, and others.
• When do you start decorating? Do you?
• I have done zero decorating at home this year. I learned last year that siting alone amongst holiday finery is rather depressing. Putting up a tree and lights alone, staring at them alone and taking all down alone is highly depressing. I will have two of my children for Christmas this year, but I’ll be house sitting for some people that have their home decorated, so you can say I’m borrowing Christmas this year.
• White lights or multi colored?
• White lights are for fancy people and for those Festival of Trees events with the color coordinated ornaments that follow a theme. I generally describe my tree as eclectic with sports related ornaments, child made artwork, souvenirs of places I’ve traveled and miscellany. 
• Gift cards, cash or actually shopped-for presents?
• I like shopping for things that I think my friends and family will enjoy.
• Christmas cards and or family update letters are... 
• I enjoy getting them. In the era of Facebook, we mostly know about the lives of our friends and family. But it’s nice to know that I’m on their minds during the holiday season.
• Snow is...
• Pretty… for a short time. Then it’s just cold and treacherous. I’m already looking forward to April.
• Have you been a good little boy this year?
• Yes, just not for the right person apparently.
• RAPID FIRE FAVORITES:
• Food – The usual holiday fare… I like a ham for Christmas with scalloped potatoes. 
• Dessert -- Homemade Holiday Treats… Russian Tea Cakes, Fruit Cake, peanut butter balls, rum cake, and divinity.
• Drink – Hot buttered rum, peppermint mochas
• Holiday movie – Muppet Christmas Carol, Christmas Vacation, Scrooged, and A Christmas Story
• Holiday music – I love the classics, but there are some modern artists who fall into that genre.
• Holiday tradition – I try to maintain traditions since the divorce, but it’s been difficult; adding to seasonal depression. Frankly I’m always relieved when January 3rd rolls around and normalcy returns.

BONUS

• Christmas sex: What have you done under the mistletoe?
• When I was married, Christmas was always a stressful event, I don’t remember sex ever being on the agenda. In the four Christmases since, I’ve only been romantically involved once on Christmas day. It was very nice.
• Have you caught daddy kissing Santa Claus?
• Sadly, no.
• Have you done it a Santa suit?
• LOL… No
• Did you come down the chimney?
• Yes, we both did.
• Just how merry have you made Santa's helpers?
• I’ve heard no complaints.

TMI Thursday: Kiss the Cook

Sean at Just a Jeep Guy started it, now all the cool kids are doing it

KISS THE COOK!

• How good of a cook are you?
• I’m told I’m a pretty good cook. One of my favorite things is to cook for a group of people; family, friends, or a social gathering.
• Who taught you how to cook?
• Initially, my mom. Over the past 20+ years, my obsession with cooking shows have done well to expand my repertoire.
• Who does the cooking in your home?
• Generally, my houseboy Jake does the cooking. But, on his night off, I usually scare up a PB&J sandwich.
• Do you cook more or eat out more?
• I tend to cook more often… when Jake allows.
• Are you more of a cook or dessert maker?
• I have a couple “go to” desserts… cheesecake, for example; but generally I am more of an entrée and veg kind of guy.
• What was your worst/funniest cooking moment?
• I’ve burned my share of pizza, pancakes, etc. which go directly into the garbage. If I’ve ever served something truly loathsome I cant think of an example.
• What's your best dish?
• Lasagna with garlic bruschetta
• Is revenge a dish best served cold?
• In my efforts to find my bliss, I have chosen to leave those things to karma. She’s a meaner bitch than I could ever be.
• Is the best way to a man's heart truly through his stomach? 
• It may be. Every relationship has started with a meal… but there must be something more, because I’m single most of the time.

BONUS

• Have you made whoopee in the kitchen?
• Yes
• Which foods have you used to spice up your love life?
• I cannot recall a time where food was involved.