TMI Thursday: Call Me

Sean at Just a Jeep Guy started it, now all the cool kids are doing it.

CALL ME

• Do you still have a land line?
• I hadn’t had a land line since 2002 until I called to renegotiate my cable/internet package during the Fall of 2012. They offered to give ma landline for a “Great Deal”. I tried to resist, but they wouldn’t budge. I took the land line for one year. In that year, all I got from it was telemarketers and bill collectors to previous holders of that number. When I called this past fall to renegotiate my “deal” with the cable/internet provider I got an even better deal without the land line.
• Which cell phone do you use and why?
• I have a Droid Razr HD because it’s SUPER cool. I like the battery life and I’ve always had good luck with Motorola products.
• Which provider do you use? Is there really a difference?
• I use Verizon. Living in a rural area, it serves me well with few dropped calls. The only provider I’ve had a bad experience is Sprint, but that was 10+ years ago, so I don’t know if they still suck. But they do have great ads.
• If you call someone and they don't pick up, do you leave a message?
• Nope
• When you have a missed call (with no message), do you call the person back?
• Nope
• Do you txt willingly or reluctantly? How are your skills?
• Willingly? It depends on the person. I do my best to respond quickly. Sometimes when I’m at work that can be a challenge.
• Has your cell replaced your camera?
• It has. I ran across my Canon Sure Shot the other day. The battery didn’t have a charge so I put it back where I found it. I’ll run across it again someday.
• Selfies....
• I’m taking them regularly to document the change in the size of my body. I took some shirtless shots that I will unveil when there is an “after” shot to go with them. This is me last Sunday, 64 lbs. lost.
• How many apps do you have? Which is your favorite and why?
• I’ve honestly never counted them… there are quite a few. The ones I use most frequently are on one of 5 screens, while the less frequently used aps (like the Portland Tri-Met app) are in the background folder.
• My favorites are Foursquare, OregonLive, Facebook, a wordfind game and Growlr.
• What would life be like with no cell/smart phone for one month?
• Very lonely. It is my primary… hell, it’s my only connection to long distant friends.

BONUS

• How much has your cell phone become a part of your sex life?
• As I do not have a current relationship, it is my connection to the occasional tryst.
• Sexting
• There are a couple guys who participate is a little explicit texting… it has been known to make the workday move along.
• hookup apps
• Growlr is my friend
• selfies
• Usually part of sexting
• video
• There are a couple videos known to exist.
• GPS
• Growlr uses GPS
• more?
• What more could you want?

TMI Thursday: The War on Christmas

Sean at Just a Jeep Guy started it, now all the cool kids are doing it

THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS 2013

• Which religion or faith do you belong to, if any?
• I am a recovering evangelical. I believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ to love your neighbor and ‘do unto the least of these’. My charitable giving and volunteer work reflects that. A wholly foreign concept to the clubhouse christiansists. The religiosity of some forced on others this time of year without action or deed backing it up makes me cranky.
• What is your opinion of Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays?
• I get an allergic reaction to issues that cause some to get their panties in a twist. I use both, whatever feels right in the moment.
• Holiday music on the radio? When and how much?
• On the radio? No… I cannot control the banality of the “holiday” tunes they air. I get a facial tic if I hear ‘Santa Baby’ or ‘Christmas Shoes’. Therefore, I have built a Holiday music playlist in iTunes that has a beautiful selection of Bing, Perry, Elvis, Michael Buble, and others.
• When do you start decorating? Do you?
• I have done zero decorating at home this year. I learned last year that siting alone amongst holiday finery is rather depressing. Putting up a tree and lights alone, staring at them alone and taking all down alone is highly depressing. I will have two of my children for Christmas this year, but I’ll be house sitting for some people that have their home decorated, so you can say I’m borrowing Christmas this year.
• White lights or multi colored?
• White lights are for fancy people and for those Festival of Trees events with the color coordinated ornaments that follow a theme. I generally describe my tree as eclectic with sports related ornaments, child made artwork, souvenirs of places I’ve traveled and miscellany. 
• Gift cards, cash or actually shopped-for presents?
• I like shopping for things that I think my friends and family will enjoy.
• Christmas cards and or family update letters are... 
• I enjoy getting them. In the era of Facebook, we mostly know about the lives of our friends and family. But it’s nice to know that I’m on their minds during the holiday season.
• Snow is...
• Pretty… for a short time. Then it’s just cold and treacherous. I’m already looking forward to April.
• Have you been a good little boy this year?
• Yes, just not for the right person apparently.
• RAPID FIRE FAVORITES:
• Food – The usual holiday fare… I like a ham for Christmas with scalloped potatoes. 
• Dessert -- Homemade Holiday Treats… Russian Tea Cakes, Fruit Cake, peanut butter balls, rum cake, and divinity.
• Drink – Hot buttered rum, peppermint mochas
• Holiday movie – Muppet Christmas Carol, Christmas Vacation, Scrooged, and A Christmas Story
• Holiday music – I love the classics, but there are some modern artists who fall into that genre.
• Holiday tradition – I try to maintain traditions since the divorce, but it’s been difficult; adding to seasonal depression. Frankly I’m always relieved when January 3rd rolls around and normalcy returns.

BONUS

• Christmas sex: What have you done under the mistletoe?
• When I was married, Christmas was always a stressful event, I don’t remember sex ever being on the agenda. In the four Christmases since, I’ve only been romantically involved once on Christmas day. It was very nice.
• Have you caught daddy kissing Santa Claus?
• Sadly, no.
• Have you done it a Santa suit?
• LOL… No
• Did you come down the chimney?
• Yes, we both did.
• Just how merry have you made Santa's helpers?
• I’ve heard no complaints.

TMI Thursday: Kiss the Cook

Sean at Just a Jeep Guy started it, now all the cool kids are doing it

KISS THE COOK!

• How good of a cook are you?
• I’m told I’m a pretty good cook. One of my favorite things is to cook for a group of people; family, friends, or a social gathering.
• Who taught you how to cook?
• Initially, my mom. Over the past 20+ years, my obsession with cooking shows have done well to expand my repertoire.
• Who does the cooking in your home?
• Generally, my houseboy Jake does the cooking. But, on his night off, I usually scare up a PB&J sandwich.
• Do you cook more or eat out more?
• I tend to cook more often… when Jake allows.
• Are you more of a cook or dessert maker?
• I have a couple “go to” desserts… cheesecake, for example; but generally I am more of an entrée and veg kind of guy.
• What was your worst/funniest cooking moment?
• I’ve burned my share of pizza, pancakes, etc. which go directly into the garbage. If I’ve ever served something truly loathsome I cant think of an example.
• What's your best dish?
• Lasagna with garlic bruschetta
• Is revenge a dish best served cold?
• In my efforts to find my bliss, I have chosen to leave those things to karma. She’s a meaner bitch than I could ever be.
• Is the best way to a man's heart truly through his stomach? 
• It may be. Every relationship has started with a meal… but there must be something more, because I’m single most of the time.

BONUS

• Have you made whoopee in the kitchen?
• Yes
• Which foods have you used to spice up your love life?
• I cannot recall a time where food was involved.

Post-Op Update: 4 weeks

Its been four weeks since surgery. My incisions are healed, but I still have some pain at the main incision site as, in the words of my surgeon, “We really worked that spot”. The twinges of pain are diminishing, but if I try to do more than I should, my body reminds me that it was cut open a month ago. The doctor says I should get that twinge for another two-three weeks.

I have moved through the pureed food stage, to the “soft” food stage. That means I can have well cooked veggies, tuna and something called stewed chicken, I am going to try to make it on my day off on Thursday and see how it turns out. My diet is made up primarily of gagsome protein shakes, greek yogurt, cottage cheese, and applesauce. Tonight I celebrated my newfound menu freedom by having 1/2 cup green beans and 3 oz. of whitefish. I have learned that if I take too big of a bite of anything and don’t chew it to the point of mush, my tiny tummy grumbles and gets cranky. So it took about 45 minutes to eat my dinner. Last week I tried to jump the date a little and had some scrambled eggs. So far that has been the only thing that refused to stay down. I told the doctor, she gave me a stern look and asked what I leaned. I told her that I learned that even eggs need to be chewed well. She said, “No, you should have learned to follow the instructions and not have eaten eggs before week four”. She encouraged me to try again this week.

I have found that I get huge cravings. I see ads for pizza and I can almost taste it. It’s the knowledge that if I were to try to eat something like that, I would spend a bit of time in the bathroom feeling like I was going to die.

As you can see in the sidebar, I’ve lost 48 lbs. thus far. It’s actually hit a plateau as I’m not really exercising. I walk some, but mostly I’m not doing a whole lot. Once my body stops twinging, I’ll hit the gym again and the weight should melt away.

Finally, the bills are starting to arrive. If you could spare a few $$ to help with my expenses, please click the GoFundMe widget in the sidebar. If you give $100, you get a HUG.

Breaking it down: Black Friday

According to THIS article Walmart has joined a list of other retailers to announce they are opening on Thanksgiving day.

Most of the news stories and pundits are clutching their pearls over this issue because someone in our society had the image that Thanksgiving still looks like this…

… when in fact, it looks more like this…

… but for many, myself included; Thanksgiving looks like this…

As a person who worked numerous holiday seasons in retail and as a person who takes “freedom of choice” seriously… so the stores want to open on Thanksgiving… so what?  Obviously there must be people who WANT to shop and I guarantee you there are people who WANT to work. It takes all kinds of people to work a society.

Enjoy your holiday in whatever way you want. If it really bothers you what OTHER people are doing… perhaps you need a better hobby?

I will be working my way through Season three of Star Trek: Enterprise with the phone nearby as I will be the on-call social worker for my county that week. I sincerely hope I don’t get a call to respond to Walmart where someone has abandoned their child in their fervor to get that 72” television.

TMI Thursday: Lost & Found

LOST AND FOUND?

• Do you tend to lose things only to find them later?
• I’m kind of maniacal about keeping track of my things, so much so that I rarely lose things of value to me for very long.
• Have you ever gone "shopping" in the Lost and Found?
• Once I spotted a quality pair of football cleats in the lost & found. I kept my eye on them for a couple weeks before claiming them as my own.
• Has a dog or other pet "followed" you home?
• The best dog ever, Buster essentially “followed me home”. The poor malnourished, dirty yellow lab showed up at my workplace one day. After checking around, he came home with me and lived the rest of his days with my family.
• How are you at finding a bargain?
• I enjoy hitting yard sales and thrift shops to find treasures. I also research every purchase to make sure I’m getting the most bang for my buck.
• How many times have you lost your wallet?
• Twice… it’s not fun.
• How do you find the time?
• I organize my time by setting priorities. I use my calendar to prioritize deadlines to make sure I get things done when they are supposed to be done.
• Have you found your soul mate? Do you think you ever will?
• No, I’ve been feeling pretty cynical about it the last couple months. My biggest fear is dying alone.
• Do you have a lost love?
• I wonder sometimes. I wonder if I’ve been too picky or had unreasonable expectations of things like honesty or respect from a past partner.
• When did you lose your innocence?
• Given the family I was spawned from… I don’t think I ever had it. I’m trying to make up for it by crusading for lost causes. !'ve been accused of writing “rainbows & unicorn case plans”.

BONUS

• When did you lose your virginity?
• I lost it progressively through my teens and early-20’s, finishing the project at the age of 23.
• How many times have you helped someone lose theirs?
• Unknown

It’s been… one week…

It’s been one week since I went under the knife… or laparoscope to be precise. It seems that drinking water, sleeping and trying to get nutrition has been my full-time job.

Frankly, I’ve been surprised at how well the recovery has been going. When I woke up in recovery Monday afternoon, it hurt to breathe deeply or move. I have five incision points on my abdomen (don’t worry, no pics) and I have learned just how much ANY movement involved abdominal muscles. As I sit here tonight, the largest incision is still causing a bit of discomfort. I’m glad to say that I haven’t had to take the narcotic pain meds since Thursday.

I have noticed the last two days that I’ve felt motivated to take on a project; yesterday I took down the Halloween decorations and today I drove to the store for some yogurt, both resulted in sleeping the afternoon away.

The biggest challenge has been getting in protein. Every brand of protein that I tried and enjoyed BEFORE surgery I stocked up on them so that I would have a variety to choose from in my efforts to get 100+ grams each day. I have learned that a number of the folks in the support group were RIGHT! Almost every one of those protein sources are NASTY now. Before surgery I could shotgun a bottle of protein shake, now I have to sip. That may have something to do with it. I've been trying to find other ways to get protein within my “allowable” menu. The best way is with Greek yogurt and I found that Lucerne has a 2% milk with 13 grams of protein in each cup.

Finally, the primary measure of the success… my weight. You can see the progress in the Fitness Pal widget in the sidebar. That number is based on my official starting weight last summer and includes my progress through tonight. One of the surprising lessons of surgery last week was that I actually gained weight in the hospital from IV fluids and swelling from the surgery.