Police Blotter: 12/21/12

Most people believe that life in rural America is free from the ravages of crime, that we sleep peacefully without the wail of sirens in the middle of the night. All it would take is a peek at the police blotter many small town newspapers print to be proven wrong.

• A call at 12:35am to report that a 6 ft. tall, 190 lb, 20 year-old man with brown hair and eyes was leaving the neighbors house wearing a tan windbreaker with the collar pulled up. – Perhaps he should have turned off the the Grindr app? At least they left out if he was a top or bottom and whether he was into cuddling or not. 
• The Assistant Manager at the Walmart called to report that an employee who works in the firearms department was to be fired and she worried about his instability and his frequent statements that he had a gun in his car. – Yeah, nothing goes together like instability and a firearms… anywhere but Walmart! 
• A woman called police to report she had been living with her parents for a month when she left for the day to visit her husband. When she returned she discovered they had moved and taken her children to an undisclosed location. – It took me a month to pack a 2 bedroom apartment to move. What was this chick on that she didn’t notice they were able to pack up grandparent level accumulation AND kid stuff in order to move in one day?
• A woman arrived at a local hospital complaining of burning and swelling of the eyes after using the public restroom at a park. – Sweetheart, you’re doing it wrong!
• A caller reported a man in a mask and fatigues “with a large knife” was walking along Main Street. – Crocodile Dundee?
• Police warned a church group to stay out of the road while they were handing out flyers. – Unless it’s in the King James you can’t tell those Christians anything.
• A woman reported to the police that her children were assaulted by a “mean girl” with a hockey stick. Upon questioning, police learned the children had been playing hockey on the community ice rink. The officer explained that some assaultive behavior is part of the game. – An integral part. Seriously, how protective is this mother that she conjured up a story of a “mean girl” and an assault from a game of hockey? I’m wagering the kids had a blast.
• Police were called to the community ice rink on a complaint that a german shepherd dog was interfering with children playing hockey. Police seized the dog, took him to the city pound and contacted the owner. – Oh Please! I bet the mother with the assaulted kids called it in. She incarcerated a dog who was PLAYING with kids who were PLAYING a game. Why, in my day he would have been part of our defense strategy!

That’s a look at the rash of crime that kept the citizen-monitors busy this week in Rural Eastern Oregon. 

Sunday Stealing: Deleted Meme

Today we ripped off a blogger named Javier from the blog Our Page. Bud left it for us in the event that I got desperate, I cashed in this weekend... but alas, the blog has been deleted.... So... But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

1. Who is your favorite artist (Any field.): The musical artist I follow changes with my moods. Before the Christmas music season hit, I was listening to my catalog of The Rolling Stones. The Boys are touring in celebration of their 50th year as a band, recording amazing music. Seeing the Stones in concert is on my Bucket List. Currently I’m enjoying Rod Stewart’s new Christmas CD, Merry Christmas, Baby.
2. Describe yourself: 6’0”, brown hair (I think the grays are reaching a majority, so I’m not sure how much longer I can say that), brown eyes, seriously overweight. Well educated, professional seeks the man of my dreams… wait, this isn’t that of site. Um… I’m a social worker who does volunteer work, donates to human dignity causes and…  I VOTE! I love to read, listen to music, go to movies, I knit scarves for fun and profit. I have a wicked sense of humor, I speak fluent sarcasm and I’m told I have a giving heart.
3. How do you feel today: I feel like I have a cold coming on; achy scratchy throat… no bueno. I’m relaxing on my couch, watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and there’s a handsome man making breakfast for me.
4. Describe the area where you currently live. I live in a relatively medium sized community in rural Eastern Oregon. Currently the landscape is dreary and brown, during the spring/summer it’s dreary and green.
5. If you could go anywhere, where would you go? I love weekends in Portland… going to the bars, Powell’s Books, IKEA… just basking in the vibe of that amazing city.
6. Your favorite form of transportation: I currently drive a 1999 Subaru Outback. When I’m in Portland, I love riding the MAX light rail, I understand the people who ride it everyday don’t share my feelings.
7. Your best friend is: A guy I’ve known since high school. For over 30 years we’ve shared good and bad times. While we don’t see each other as often; when we do get to see each other it’s a lot of fun.
8. You and your best friends are: We always seem to be looking for a weekend where we can plan a get together. Competing schedules are a bitch.
9. What's the weather like: 38F and cloudy with a threat of snow.
10. Favorite time of day: 10am-1pm, it’s post coffee, but pre mid-afternoon swoon. You know, the time that 5-hr Energy tells us we need their product.
11. If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Those Who Matter Don’t Mind.
12. What is life to you: I’m beginning to think that life is pretty depressing and the trick is finding a way to make the best of it.
13. Your relationship: I haven’t had much luck with relationships. For the first time in almost two years, I’ve met someone who seems very special. We’ll see how this pans out. Cheers to 2013!
14. Your fear: Dying alone.
15. What is the best advice you have to give: Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.
16. Thought for the Day: It isn’t about restricting gun rights, it’s about adequate funding of mental health services and increased access.
17. How would you categorize your soul's present condition: My soul is just fine, thank you very much.

Saturday 9: Christmas Carols

1. What's the first holiday song that comes to mind?
   
2. Are you sending cards (either by postal service or email) this year? If so, have they gone out yet? Last year I bought cards, special festive pens, holiday stamps and wrote a personal sentiment to each of the friends on my mailing list. I only received four cards in return. This year, I am so unmotivated I just thought ‘fuck it’. So far I have not received a single holiday card. I guess other people are feeling the same way. .
3. Can you see any holiday decorations from where you're answering these questions? Yes, my collection of Nutcrackers and a fully decorated tree.
4. Do you wrap gifts in paper or take the gift bag route? I’ll go the gift bag route for gift exchanges and secret santa at work, but I’ll wrap gifts that go under the tree.
5. The holidays are an important fundraising time for charities. Here's an opportunity to do a shameless plug for your favorite. What organization or cause do you wish got more support at the holidays, and all year around? Umatilla-Morrow Alternatives and Basic Rights Oregon. I regularly support the Western States Center and OPB throughout the year.
6. Andy Williams was famous for his family holiday specials. What TV family would you most like to spend Christmas with? The Griswold’s 
7. The holidays are a big time for travel. Where did you go on your first airplane flight? Sadly, my first airplane trip took me from Seattle to Boise for the funeral of my X-wife’s grandmother.
8. Does the weather have an impact on your mood? I get grumpy when the weather gets too hot (over 100) or too cold (under 20)
9. Snack time! You're about to make yourself your favorite sandwich. What ingredients do you need? Rye, pastrami, sauerkraut and russian dressing.

TMI Thursday: The War on Christmas

**Inspired by Sean at Just a Jeep Guy**

1. Which religion or faith do you belong to, if any? I was raised in a fundamentalist home where abuse and profanity flew through the air six days a week and on Sunday we put on our "Sunday Best" and went to church to act like decent humans. I imagine that since I learned you can hide socially unacceptable behavior behind religion; it was natural I could hide my sexuality behind the sacred. This doesn't work (period). I learned that religious people are generally sanctimonious pricks who love to live the lie. I attended a denominational university for my undergrad where I learned that if you follow the primary teachings of Christ to “Love others as yourself” and “Whatever you do unto the least of these, you do unto me”. A philosophy of acceptance and helping our fellow humans… there would be fewer DICKS in this world.   
2. What is your opinion of seasonal greetings and salutations? If someone offers me a seasonal greeting I return it. As we get closer to the day, Generally at this point in December, I wish people “Happy Holidays”. As we get closer to 12/25, I say “Merry Christmas”. Basically… Don’t be a Dick about it!
3. Holiday music on the radio? I have a couple hundred holiday tunes on my iPod. I’ll listen to the all holiday, all the time stations occasionally. Usually this is short lived because they foolishly play “Santa Baby” or some other equally heinous tune that I must change before I gouge my ears with an ice pick.
4. What is your policy for exchanging gifts? In an effort to save feelings I do not exchange. **Don’t be a Dick”**
5. Gift cards are... AWESOME!
6. Christmas cards/family update letters are... TEDIOUS
7. Snow is... fine in the mountains.
8. Have you been a good little boy or girl? I’m not sure.
9. RAPID FIRE FAVORITES:
1. Food – Pizza
2. Dessert – Cheesecake
3. Song – Grown Up Christmas List
4. Movie – National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
5. Tradition – Cinnamon Rolls for breakfast on Christmas Morning.

BONUS… Christmas sex:

1. What have you done under the mistletoe? Just kisses
2. Have you caught daddy kissing Santa Clause? Not yet. Maybe this year?
3. Have you done it a Santa suit? Seems like that would be awfully sweaty and itchy, don’t you think?
4. Did you come down the chimney? No but I’ve done it in the shower a few times.
5. Just how merry have you made Santa's helpers? I do try to spread Holiday cheer through Growlr and Adam4Adam.

POST YOUR TMI ANSWERS
Post and answer the questions on your blog or tumblr page and then post the link in the comments so that others can read your answers, visit your website and get to know you too. I post my answers on Thursday.

Blogging Challenge: Stress

** Go HERE for links to previous posts **

I am certain that if Powerball would cooperate, I wouldn’t have stress.

Ok, I’ll confess… most of my stress comes from avoidance in so many areas of my life. If there is something I have to do, that I don’t really WANT to do. I believe my marriage lasted 15 years because of avoidance of the fact that wedded bliss ended almost 10 years before the life support was actually removed.

The simplest daily manifestation of this phenomenon occurs every morning when my alarm goes off at 6am. You see I don’t WANT to get up that early. I would much rather sleep until 8am. Problem… that is when I need to be at work. I’ll lay there muttering profanity. Then I’ll turn the TV on and watch the news. Then I’ll look through my blog reader. Sometimes I post to this blog. All the while keeping an eye on the clock calculating the absolute latest time I need to get in the shower so I can dress and be to work as close to 8am as possible.

As anyone who knows me can attest I’m terrible at math so I’m usually 5 – 10 minutes late to work… which causes me stress.

Seriously, I am stressed by the timelines which are a key part of my job and the sheer amount of paperwork. As with any job, there are the unexpected events that can send the whole day off the rails and throw those timelines into chaos.

As with most people, I’m also affected by financial stress. Contrary to what the X believes, declaring bankruptcy didn’t leave me flush with cash. It merely cleared the credit obligations that I was saddled with in the divorce making my monthly obligations only those of my own making. That didn’t stop her from seeking and getting an increase in child support just in time for the biggest ‘off the books’ financial obligation of the year… Christmas. With her ‘raise’, I have just enough net income to pay my bills, buy some gas and if I access the food bank, I can feed the kids when they are here.

As of today, I don’t have the funds to get them anything for Christmas… unless Powerball cooperates.

Yes… I’m stressed.

Blogging Challenge: Dream Wedding

** Go HERE for links to previous posts **

With Marriage Equality coming to my neighbors to the north and the Supreme Court agreeing to hear a challenge to DOMA; the possibility of being not only being able to get married, but having it recognized by the government is becoming a possibility. I will be attending a meeting tonight with Basic Rights Oregon as they start taking steps to put Equality on the ballot here in Oregon.

My favorite place on Earth is the Central Oregon Coast. It is my wish to be cremated and my ashes sprinkled at Nye Beach. It is also my hope that once I find my last best friend that we are able to be married at Nye Beach. I would ask my son to be my Best Man and hopefully many of our dear friends and family would be able to attend.

Sunday Stealing: 11/11 Meme

Today we ripped off a blogger named Zoe from the blog Mama Geek. She states that she got it from Mummylish. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Take the time to comment on other player's posts. It's a great way to make new friends! Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!

The idea of the 11 Questions Meme is that you are given a set of 11 questions to answer by a fellow blogger , and then once you have answered them you have to think up 11 questions of your own to ask, we consider that part of the meme a bonus and optional, so.. feel free to come up with 11 questions, ONLY if you feel like it. Fun stuff. –NO… I don’t believe I will--

1. What is your favorite possession? I have several things that mean a great deal to me. Things that belonged to my grandparents. Things that my kids have given me. Over the last few years, I’ve lost a great deal of ‘things’, it forces you to know what truly has value.
2. Do you like to read? If so, which books do you love best? I love to read. I enjoy books that vary with my moods. I enjoy murder mysteries, stories of international intrigue and historical biographies and novels. I’m currently working through the Sookie Stackhouse Novels by Charlaine Harris.
3. Do you have any pets? I currently own a pair of rescue kitties; Reuben & Cleo. They are now one year old and they are both enjoyable companions and highly annoying beasts.
4. What was your favorite food as a child? Is it the same now? My favorite food has been, is currently and forever shall be… PIZZA.
5. What is your favorite thing about blogging? I enjoy exercising my brain to put my opinions and experiences into hopefully well crafted words. I’ve been out of practice, so I’m taking baby steps through meme’s. I also enjoy connecting with other bloggers from around the world and reading about their experiences and opinions.
6. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? I want to live in the mid-Willamette Valley of Oregon. Near the coast and near Portland, without being too congested. Someplace like McMinnville or Newberg.
7. What is your favorite number? 42… it is the answer to everything.
8. Which of these things would you find hardest to give up for a year? Chocolate, reading, coffee or smoking? Chocolate… meh, Smoking… I only smoke socially. Reading would be difficult, but Coffee, I barely survive until 9am without getting a splitting headache. No, that doesn’t mean I have a problem, you have a problem if I don’t have some good coffee.
9. If you could make your life into a movie, what would you name it.. and who would you want to play you? “Those Who Matter Don’t Mind” and I would be played by Richard Gere.
10. If you had £20,000 for a shopping spree, what would you buy? According to current exchange that would be $32,000 and some change. I would make the co-pay on Lap Band surgery, buy a gym membership and get new clothes to fit my svelte physique.
11. If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be? President Barack Obama

You can find the original meme here.